So there's this so-called friend I had that I met last year (when I was a freshman in high school). Everything was relatively chill, no drama, nothing. This year, I saw another side of her that was just... bitchy. Hear my side of the story first, however.

Btw this hasn't been the first time that she pissed me off. She had called my parents cheap at one point which really pissed me off like no other, compared her home life to mine, bragged constantly about her rich Filipino family (how her father always randomly buys townhouses and land) and on another new note, how she's always complaining about 'ohh, I always have so many friends requests on Facebook. I already have like 1000 friends. They keep on adding me~'. Actually, I had once looked into my cousin's profile and saw the friends requests category. One of them was from HER. Keep in mind that my cousin and my friend (let's call her Jen) had never spoken ONCE. So I can only assume that she's only making herself feel better because getting requests on Facebook from people she 'claims' she doesn't know is SO cash. Come to think of it, Jen also claimed that she dated some Filipino actor named Jake Angelo Vargas which was the reason why she always got these requests from people she didn't know. I think that's utter bullshit now that I remember her telling me about that last year, and how I BELIEVED her...

I noticed how I was treated like ###### in comparison to our other mutual friends. Like...how she always thought I was annoying, or stupid, or had a different tone of voice/attitude with me. At first it made me mad, but I learnt to get over it since I was somewhat insecure about myself at times, and how I really didn't want to lose one of the few friends I had.

I gained MUCH more confidence as well as a tougher, or if not tougher, relaxed persona. I did good in schoolwork, but I'm not really stupid human-wise. I gained more friends this year but I didn't really belong into ANY popular clique, and proud of that, and I learned to love school more. My ties with Jen just kind of...loosened. However...

She began ignoring me for a good three weeks. Or a month, I have no idea since time has flew by fast. But she wasn't hanging out with our mutual friends like we do every morning anymore, the last time she spoke with them was probably like two months ago. She slowly began drifting away from me, and began talking to these girls who were considered more 'popular'. I could completely tell by this because our Geography teacher (Geography is the only class I have with her, THANKFULLY but its a darn two hours long and painfully boring) had assigned seats and I had to sit in the front, and she had to sit next to me. For some reason or another, or maybe our teacher was just really stupid, she was totally allowed to sit in the back with her two new popular friends and just leave me hanging there (she was the only person I knew in that class). Don't get me wrong; I didn't dislike the girls she was hanging out with; I didn't talk ###### about someone I really don't know, and I spoke to them a few times. I really didn't mind them at all, and thought they were somewhat cute. But yeah, she never said a simple hello, or waved, or even looked at me. helk she never bothered to talk to me ONCE in class.

So, after being tired of coming second to them, I confront her on Facebook because I couldn't stand seeing her face. I also wanted to ###### around with her a bit a bit later in the convo., after asking her (I was weirded out why she never sat with me or my friend in one of my lunches; she just ditched us there without telling us once).

Here's the convo; I still had it saved:

Me: I like how you haven't been talking to me for like weeks now.

Jen: sorry I just have too much probs. for the past few weeks

Me: Bullshit. You weren't at lunch either. And you purposely didn't sit with me in Geography, TWICE.

Jen: don't u ###### give me that attitude
cause u don't know a ###### thing
and soo what if I'm not in lunch,

Me: Yeah, I don't. I would know if you actually SPOKE.

Jen: and yes I'm in class during lunch catching up with my classes, and why do u ###### care? I mean seriously this is my life

Me: If you can speak to your other friends, you can talk to me too. It's like you're avoiding the both of us.

Jen: why? do I have to tell u where I am and what's going on with my life?
I mean I don't do that to ur's right?

Me: You don't. But you haven't said a WORD. There's a difference.

Jen:IDC
can u just understand that I'm having problems right now?

Me: Alright then. Lashing out isn't the way. You could've been a bit, oh I don't know, sensible? the way you barely look at me makes me wonder.

Jen: ohh really, if u weren't sleeping in WG yesterday then u would've known I was looking at u and trying to talk to u
but wait ohh yea u were ###### sleeping

Me: LOLWUT. From a yard away from my desk?
Two yards?

Jen: soo?

Me: Irrelevant. Don't cover it up with even more bullshit. It was a simple question.

Jen: okay soo it's a yes
what u want me to do? stand there and wait until u ###### wake up?
and just ###### understand I'm not in the mood
leave me alone

Me: Lol, okay. You're always in a dumb mood when you're chatting with me. I'm not going to bother about you. Trust me,I've never seen you make an effort to get your trumpet out of your CHAIR.

Jen: u know what ur prblem is, u don't undertsand when SOMEONE's in a bad mood DON"T ###### TALK TO THEM

Me: Believe me, your 'bad' mood doesn't transfer well over text. I asked you a simple question, again, no need to lash out.

Jen: leave me alone

Me: Fine.


The funny things about this convo., in case you didn't notice:
-She NEVER made an effort to talk to me, NOT EVER. She sat way farther from me, and chattering away like a parrot to her friends.
-She pulled the 'I have problems' card multiple times before, and she pulls it again. She also pulls out the 'I'm in a bad mood durr hurr' card too, every. single. time. I. chat. with. her.
-Um, if you considered me a friend I WOULD be actually concerned why you aren't speaking to me. Or avoiding my one other friend and me.
-She poorly defended herself, making her sound like a butthurt dumbass when I stated my clear opinion.

Also: three of my friends had reported to me about her talking trash behind my back. One of them said she practically ranted to her after that little heated convo. we had that night the next morning, the second said 'I was annoying her' and the third one inevitably said that Jen pressured her to take her side, even though my third friend and me are much closer, and both of them have barely talked as well.

It's like she's trying to get into a popular clique, and I cannot stand people like that. She has abandoned her friends, and she's so full of herself to the point that she will use lies to defend her arguements.

Am I being selfish, though? Am I doing the right thing in deserting her at this point? Or what flaws do I have that made this happen? I really want to attack her verbally just to remind her what an nice person she had been to me then to anyone else; I think I have the mental strength to do that because I couldn't care less what she thinks. I want her to take that punch in the gut. But honestly, tell me what you think of this? Ugh, my fingers are sore after typing this; I'm sorry if you read that longass wall of text! In general, I want to know whether I'm an overreacting nice person like some may say I might be or should get over it.

I want to ask this forum, since it has sane people. This is a copy and paste rant from the first forum I asked, so there is swearing (I'm sorry! Too tired to censor it because I'm exhausted). It's a wall of text, so sorry about that again. Be honest in your musings.

Ditch her.

I'm serious. If you're so tired of her ###### (and it sounds like you are), then why put up with it? Just let her pour her ###### out on someone else.

People change. One year, they may be nice and your friend, but the next year or so they totally switch gears. I've met many people like that, and the best thing to do is to let them go.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I think your friend is just a ###### that doesn't realize what a wonderful friend she has. :)

I can give you all the advice in the world, but really, it's your own decision. Make it count.

I really am. But my pride is telling me to be a total prick to her like saying something that will piss her off before I turn my heel. I want to be the one who laughs last, you know?

I want her to at least know I would never want to hang out with an effing elitist who thinks she's too good for her friends, and so full of herself. Those are the people I HATE. And honestly, I am not the one who just hates someone; it takes a lot for me to go down that road.

Now for this part, I'm a terrible person to ask, because I say to go that extra mile and piss her off every time.

I for one, love to have the last laugh, and it doesn't take much to make me go down that road. Choose wisely, though, if you plan to do it, and don't get caught.

I feel like I'm giving out horrible advice here... >.>

Aww I bet you aren't. :D

Yeah, I honestly want her to take some bitter words from my mouth before I ditch her, to remind her what an ignorant, self-obsessed elitist she is. It won't be as fun as to see her not pissed at me before I take my leave. It's not like this hasn't ended on bad terms anyway, so I can do whatever I want to screw around with her.

I agree with Twi except on the last laugh thing. Then again I'm the kind of guy who tries to be the better man and just back down and leave it be, but it is your choice in the end not mine.

Your guy's relationship is obviously toxic, so really the best thing to do is let her go. Friends come and go; you'll meet cooler people in the future, I bet.

Stupid Jen! :)

Thank you! ;) :D
Wow, it's surprising that replies came fast. haha

By the way, I think Jen is the one that screwed up your guy's relationship.

Of course. She really thinks too highly of herself. If she stopped bragging about how her father just randomly buys stuff and throwing that in my face often (especially if my family has financial issues) then she would at least be more insensitive. And mature.

I don't think I need to repeat what everyone else has said. This chick obviously ain't worth your time and effort. However, instead of trying to piss her off back, choose the road of indifference. Ignore her entirely. Don't acknowledge that she exists. Never speak about her to anyone and don't look at her or give her attention. So long as you give her the attention she wants (because why the ###### else would she bother to badmouth you to your friends) she'll keep throwing her "I'm better and with better people" ###### in your face. Just cut her off completely.

She sounds, to put it bluntly- a ######.

It seems your trying to give a genuine reason to be her friend, yet she keeps throwing it back at you. The fact shes talking behind your back should set off alarms that its probably time to ditch her- or least ignore her.

Mizukithepanda has some great advice. The girl probably strives for attention- and you not giving it to her would possibly make her less of a ###### to you. But I'm still going for the ###### angle.

The chat conversation I'm brushing off- but at the same time should be ringing bells. For me however I have simular chats with various friends at times, mostly because I'm either tired or just plan not in the mood- regardless of if it was my fault or theres. We make up the next day- but still.

Well, if she tries to contact you and apologise, then if you feel it's sincere I think you should still be prepared to give her a second chance at being treated cordially. It's unlikely, but perhaps she'll get over her immaturity and realise what a ###### she's been.

Unless that happens, though, forget about her and just act totally indifferent as Mizuki says. She doesn't seem worth putting effort into helping with her personality issues, and there isn't much you can do for people like this anyway.

Never respond harshly yourself unless you think it's genuinely going to be for their own good, otherwise everyone just comes away resentful and unhappy. There isn't any gratification in being nasty to someone because you think they deserve it.

I think I've forgiven her too much many times honestly. :/ I've given her at least a couple of chances. I just want to cut off everything with her since it's been held together by string.

Yeah I wanted to bluntly say what an elitist she had been and to get under her skin like she had done to mine. If I just let it go too easily, I wouldn't feel as satisfied.

Let it go girly!

I done dealt with this before except it was with a guy we had gone to the same schools since birth and then in High school he like Walled me off so to speak. Later I ask him whats up he tells me he's gay and im like "so because your gay you cant be friends with a guy?" Then he looked at me puzzled I guess he expected me to freak out but I was like don care bro your still my bro but yeah never sat next to me again, barely talked now we are face book friends... still dont talk much though...

Let it go is all im saying dont watse your time if you really are dealing with this BIZZITCH. Unless of course you wanna fight her then by all means fight her thats how I settled my beefs with my fellow male classmates. hope fully you can win though I haz neva lost a fight all I had to do was throw my weight around and win by a tackle or a grapple. Dealing with the women required negotiation and distant contact and a team so that confrontation never turned ugly.

enough about me though do what you wish I would really drop it if you don't want to settle it with your fists.

Sorry but that all my boybear brain can offer

I didn't read the entire thing but honestly, this is just highschool bullsh-t, this stuff doesn't happen when you get out of that silly drama filled world.

Do not try and keep her friendship, she's obviously was never a friend if she talked to you the way she did, it's just the fact that she happened to hang out with similar people.
I used to a friend like this, and we were both part of a big group of people who were all like mutual friends, and she started becoming very rude to me for no reason once she started to become better friends with the girls who were more into partying and stuff, and so I let her drift more into their crowd and I didn't let her know I even cared. I wasn't going to let her make me upset when I really didn't even like her myself to begin with.

Just ignore her, she was never a friend, true friends do not comment about what's better about them and what's worse about you, friendship shouldn't be changed if one is poor and the other is rich, it's about two people who have things in common and who LIKE eachother. And usually when people talk a lot about how much certain thngs cost {like I knew a girl who used to always go on about "my dad bought me jeans that cost 150 dollars, and this dress that was over 80"} usually means it's bullsh-t. Cause that was coming froma girl who came from a much poorer background than I do. It's just they want to seem above people when their lives are sh-t and they think having expensive stuff does that, when it really doesn't.

Just try and find friends who like you for you, and not the amount of money your family happens to make which is something you can't control and didn't ask for.
Honestly, your life will be much better when you don't even pay attention to those kinds of people, I've never been happier with the friends I have now who I can be exactly who I am and even the ones that are well off treat me like we're equal, they like me for my personality not my family.

And this doesn't make you a bad friend, this just proves she's the terrible friend.

Sounds like this chick is desperate to have acceptance. If she doesn't wanna talk to you, yeah it sucks, but you've got other friends who care about ya. Not gonna lie, sounds like you could have handled your conversation a bit more smoothly. To be fair, if I was in your place I'd be pretty bummed too. I'm no pro, but my suggestion is that you give her some time to cool off from that conversation, then apologize for maybe being a bit harsh with your complaints (even though they were understandable) then calmly tell her how you feel. Maybe you guys can put all this behind you and still be friends, and if not at least you tried. You don't seem like a bad friend, you just seem a bit hurt. Just don't let your anger perpetuate the feud.

Guess I was lucky to have a high school where there weren't as much separatists attitudes. I'm kinda nerdy, not gonna lie, but I always hung out with people considered to be "jocks" during lunch. Oh man, some great stuff went on at that lunch table. I was LMAOing on a daily basis (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif) . Anyway, I was friends with people of every "clique" and I'm so glad that I was.

Not to sound sexist, but when I was in school (only graduated in '09) it seemed that girls had a lot more drama than guys did so maybe I don't have enough experience in the matter to say anything. Then again, I rarely ever had this type of thing happen to me so maybe that means my advice is good. Who knows?

To stop rambling, I hope it all works out for you. =]

Oh yea, IdlersDream is right, things are a lot different after high school. Which reminds me of all the stupid things I did back then. What a MORON! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif)

Yeah, I hate high school bs, (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalacry.gif) It almost feels pathetic, but hey, similar stuff like this also happens outside school. It has happened a couple of times from other people. So of course, the next person (especially my so-called friend) who pretty much said something rude about my family, will be guaranteed a punch in the throat. :P


Thankfully I don't really like belonging to a clique, but if I had to describe my two groups of friends, then they would definitely be much different then most people in school: almost childish, but fun and at the same time socially awkward, and also pretty humorous. :D

Honestly, outside of highschool there aren't such things as cliques.

The people I'm friends with some of us were the really popular kids in school and some the total opposite, just because someone is in one certain group doesn't mean you won't like them.

And Dingo, most boys don't go through this because most girls/women are cruel to one another, even in work most women would prefer to work with men because they don't talk behind coworkers backs, whereas a lot of women are that way, you do something wrong and that equals them treating you like crap later on. For some reason women hold things against other women much more than men ever or will do, men can get in fights or make fun of eachother and still be best friends, most women cannot do that. It's just the way our brains work.

Well, there are obviously a lot of underlying insecurities with this person. She's apparently obsessed with how others perceive her, and that means she'll pay attention to those who make her feel the most important.

I mean, she has no right to be mean to you, but she does have some self-esteem issues she's not telling you about. My advice is let things mellow out. She'll either come around or she won't. If she doesn't then that's probably a sign you're better off that.

She is wrong in the way she's treating you, but in my experience unless bullying and stuff is occuring, it's best to leave the wrong alone. If anything, reach out with kindness---you don't want to be on the same level as her. Not to mention, as cynical as I may be, I know kindness reaches some people. She's not even being kind to herself---how can she be kind to you?

All in all, if it doesn't work out...it's not a big deal. You're probably get separated by college, anyhow.

Sorry, I'm a little happy hippie, but this is the best way to go, in my opinion. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif)


EDIT: And, no. You're not a bad friend. The fact that you're asking shows that. I've been in a very similar position, and I know continuing to argue and to be angry with her is just grounds for more problems. If she says something to her, be nice. Just don't let her bring out the worst in you. If that's how it keeps going, try your best to avoid her or explain to her that you're not going to fight or pay her silliness any mind. She's what 17 or something like that? She thinks the world should revolve around her at this time in her life.