Clash of the Nerds, A song based off of a game I made up recently. Options

[Rebecca]

The rules for the game will be after this song.
But, yeah... I've been going different shades of insane/obsessed lately, and got the idea "what if you put a bunch of nerds in one room, told them to stick to ONE fanbase, and the last fandom standing won?"

By the way, in the song, anything in parentheses is spoken.

Clash of the Nerds (song)

Lock the doors and hide your minds,
Fear for what they might find
Fear that they might pull you in
Fear they'll make you one of them
Dressed in costumes made by hand
Official garb straight from Japan
Or t-shirts from their favorite band
It's all too much for just one man to take
The biggest choice that you may ever make

Armed with sticks and paper stones
You feel you might be all alone
The very last one standing in
This little world they've trapped you in
Out of options, time to act
The secret plan you've kept intact
To use your only hidden ace
To put those other nerds in place

In this Clash of the Nerds
This geeky battle royale
Time Lords, dragons, Jedi, Trek,
Elves, Vampires, Consoles, Decks,
Arm with every thing you've got
To show the others who's on top
Last team standing wins it all
Pick your poison, take the call,
Choose 'em wisely, chosen one
Before the battle has begun,
Have all your tools to call upon,
'Cause once you're hit,
Your dueling days are done

Paper balls fly through the air
Someone hits one with a chair
Another flies right past your hair
(oh, that was a close one)
(Closer than when the Doctor)
(There's no time for that now!)
Make sure your attacks exist
Useless trying to resist
The draw, this game, they all insist
That they're the best, they do persist
Duct tape, cardboard, styrofoam,
To each a fanbase of their own
No crossing lines, no changing sides
Come join our game and turn the tide

We're not crazy, we're just REALLY
Into all this dork, nerd, geeky,
Things that you think we would be
way too old for,
But that's the best part, they all say
Is having fun another day
Let your inner child come out and play
THE GAME
(ooh, you just lost it)

In this Clash of the Nerds
This magical duel of the dorks
Wizards, werewolves, ninjas, koopas
Superheroes and Storm Troopers
All agree to boldly fight
With no blood drawn all through the night
Last team standing wins it all
Pick your poison, take the call,
Don't decide by roll of dice,
Think it through, you can't live twice,
And remember to play nice
Fight with sugar, not with spice
And if your team is the one to stay,
Then once again, the day is saved
(Powerpuff girls?)
(No! I'm trying to end the song!)
(Oh, sorry, I thought you'd go with it!)
(Dammit, Jim, I'm a songwriter, not a mind reader!)

Last team standing wins it all
Pick your poison, take the call,
Choose 'em wisely, chosen one
Before the battle has begun,
Have all your tools to call upon,
'Cause once you're hit,
Your dueling days are done

A great man once said “Make it so”
Be sure you pick which side you know
And don't forget your magic words
You'll need them in
The Clash of the Nerds

The game itself is not intended for internet use. It's supposed to be an active game in the real world (a scary place for nerds, I know), as a fun thing to organize and participate in.

• Last fanbase standing wins
• Each nerd is only allowed ONE broad fandom.
• THE ONLY THING ALL OF THE NERDS CAN DO THE SAME IS COSPLAY!
• IN THIS WORLD THE INTERNET ONLY EXISTS FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES AND NOT FOR ENTERTAINMENT
• Once you've picked your fandom, you are not allowed to change within the duration of the game.
• Battles with other fandoms are inevitable. Bring your own props in advance or build them during the game.
• Imaginary weapons are not allowed. Even superpowers need to have some sort of physical representation, even if it's a piece of paper with a doodle of an explosion.
• No physical violence. All weapons must be child safe. We don't want anyone to actually get hurt. Remember, THIS IS ONLY A GAME!
• Any weapons must not be able to cause an injury that a band-aid cannot fix.
• Always have plenty of paper, pencils, markers, crayons, pens, etc. available.
• There are no points. If you are hit, you are dead.
• Any shields used must have a physical representation, and must fit in your universe. (in other words, no medieval sheilds if you're a band geek)
• Yes, you can “throw a book” or “smash a guitar”, but not literally. Make a paper ball, get some masking tape, and write “book” or “guitar” on it, and throw it.
• Band Geeks do not have powers, but they do have durability (hello? Summer Band!) Yes, you can use playing awfully intentionally as a weapon. Yes, annoyance is a weapon.
• If you're going to use an obscure source for a power/weapon, be prepared to provide proof of it existing. While you can use your imagination, you cannot make up powers and stories.
• No, there is no “internet nerd”.
• Anime/Cartoon/Movies/Bookworms, you are allowed to use powers from different shows/stories, but be sure you can quickly prove they are real without hassle.
• Make sure there is at least one laptop available, for wikis.
• Wikis are allowed for research.
• TvTropes is not a source for last second research. We don't need any wiki walks taking up precious game time.
• Trekkies and Jedis, you are NOT allowed to hide in a starship in outer space for the entire game. You must use weapons from your universe that are NOT part of a starship, and can be used on the ground.
• ABSOLUTELY NO TELEPORTING!
• No time travel, even if you can justify it or account for all the confusion. Time traveling out of a battle is cowardice.
• You are not allowed to convert people to your fandom during the game.
• Yes, the Shakespeare guy can use swords (not real ones)
• Only Theatre nerds can play dead. I'd suggest a vast assortment of props and costumes to aid your battle.
• Bronies/Pegasisters, if you want to be a unicorn, please make a horn. You are not allowed to be a pegasus, because flying is not fair.
• Mons can only be used if you have their trading cards with attacks.
• Yes, music stands and chairs can be used as shields. Please don't hit people with them. That makes you a jerk, and no one likes a jerk.
• Lightsabers can only defend you if you actually keep whatever is about to hit you from hitting you.
• Duct tape is only a weapon if it exists in your universe (unless you're using it to hold a prop together)
• NO PORTABLE GAMING SYSTEMS! That means no PSP, no DS, no Gameboy, no iPhones or iPads or iPods that have games on them. Shoving these in someone's face does not count as an attack. If this is done, it is an invitation to have said system broken, and no one will blame them, because shoving your game in someone's face is A.) Lazy, B.) Rude, and C.) Lame. Be like everyone else, and doodle your attack. If it's obscure, get a wiki.
• No fighting within the same fandom. That defeats the purpose of the “last fanbase standing” rule. You're trying to prove your fanbase is the best, not tear yourselves apart from the inside.
• No spewing hate. (yes, this includes towards the Twilight fans). For the purposes of this game, everybody is on the same level. You are all nerds, and therefore, equals.
• No Nukes
• You cannot be an immortal character.
• You cannot be Superman
• Doctors, Regeneration= death. Since Time Lords have 2 hearts, you can get hit twice to die.

Fandoms! Pick your poison wisely.

Band Geek (Automatic Classical Music expert)

Music Genre Expert (if not filled, the position goes to Band Geek)

Anime/Manga (if there is more than one, then you may separate it further [suggest something OTHER than sexual orientation pairings to separate])

Star Trek (if there are multiple, then yes you may limit further to a single series per person)

Star Wars (if there are 2 or more, then have them separate IV-VI and I-III)

Doctor Who (if possible, separate by Doctor)

Potterhead (A wand is not a weapon by itself. You must have a doodle or something to represent the spell you are casting)

Twihard (if multiple, separate vampires and werewolves)

Bookworm (if there are multiple, you may separate by genre. LOTR gets its own nerd if this happens)

Shakespeare Enthusiast (if not filled, goes to Theatre Nerd)

Braniac (if no Mad Scientist is available, the Brainiac takes that role instead)

Movie Expert (if possible, try to have 2. One for movie trivia, another for the actors' personal lives)

Cartoon Enthusiast (separate when possible same way as Movie Expert)

Brony/Pegasister (only when available)

Video Game Addict (if possible, separate into genre)

Card Game Geek (if possible, separate by game)

Comic Book Geek (if possible, separate into Marvel vs. DC)

Theatre Nerd (if possible, separate into strict play vs. musicals)

RPGeek (if possible, separate by game or time period)

Mad Scientist (no actually blowing anything up. Again, piece of paper with a doodle. It would be suggested for you to take the time to write the chemical equation)



It is suggested that everybody dress up according to their fandom, not just for the fun, but because it can become very confusing who is on what side very easily. If you don't have a costume, here are some suggested themes:

Band Geeks, wear a band shirt or something with music notes on it, or an instrument, etc.

Music Genre Experts, wear a shirt for your favorite band

Anime/Manga, sorry, you will likely have to buy a shirt online if you don't have one. Otherwise, embrace the cosplay, or have some sort of prop weapon from your show/series

Star Trek, if you don't have a Starfleet uniform, wear a red shirt. Sorry, but it's the most recognizable gag.

Star Wars, hooded jacket, or something brown. Otherwise, just bring a lightsaber. You'll be good.

Doctor Who, If you don't have a costume of any Doctor, companions, or villains, then get a blue shirt. Why? What color is the TARDIS? There you go.

Potterheads, pick your favorite house, what's their color? Wear that color. (Griffindor and Ravenclaw, try to wear something GOLD or GREY so you don't get confused with Time Lords and Trekkies)

Twihards, Either wear a Twilight shirt, or something with wolves on it. Yes, you really should have some fake teeth or something, but those are hard to see from a distance.

Bookworms, a shirt with books on it, or book references, or get a white shirt with the word “Bookworm” written on it, or, here's a novel idea (ha, book pun), BRING A BOOK! Preferably the dictionary.

Shakespeare Enthusiasts, if you don't have any Shakespearean garb, or a Shakespeare referencing shirt, then make one.

Braniac, nerd glasses, with tape. Or carry a calculator, or wear stereotypical nerd clothes.

Mad Scientists, lab coat and safety goggles. Or rubber gloves.

Movie Expert, really? You need my help there? Go to ANY clothing store and spend some money on a movie themed shirt.

Cartoon Enthusiasts, see above, but replace “movie” with “cartoon.”

Bronies/Pegasisters, make a fake horn, or wear an MLP shirt. Making your own Cutie Mark is not necessary, but can also work.

Video Game Addicts, get a video game T-shirt, or bring a controller. Remember, NO PORTABLE GAMING SYSTEM!

Card Game Geeks, bring playing cards. That's all I can really say. If you're holding a tin or something, or make a creative accessory that brandishes your cards, that's even better.

Comic Book Geeks, wear a superhero shirt. You don't have to only use their powers, just wear a superhero shirt.

Theatre Nerds, there's a reason I said “bring lots of costumes and props”. If you can borrow things from an actual production, great, but it's your responsibility.

RPGeeks, cosplay. That's pretty much the best option. You could have your bag of dice at your side, but it's hard to see from a distance.

[Noviwan]

VIDEO GAME ADDICTS! also why no portable games?

[Rebecca]

Because portable games would give people the idea that tapping someone with their DS while they're playing Pokemon counts as an attack. It does not, and defeats the overall purpose of the game, which is to prove that you can be creative about your attacks and prove how well you know your topic.

[Noviwan]

Ah I see I get it now. Jus wanderon.

[EBWonder]

Where would an Elder Scrolls Nerd fall? It's a Video Game and a RPG.

[Rebecca]

When I say RPG, I mostly mean Tabletop gaming. RPG is easier to make a geek joke out of. Elder Scrolls would likely go under Video Games, unless it is both a video game and a tabletop game, in which case it would be up to the player to decide, but they would be limited to only the medium they choose.

[EBWonder]

and I assume this means LARPing?

and if not, how will we be playing here?

[Rebecca]

Tabletop RPG and LARPing are pretty much grouped, yes. But, I do encourage costumes and cosplay, and Role Playing characters of ALL MEDIUMS AND GENRES in this game. LARPing in general is too broad to be considered fair, but if you can narrow it down to different sections, or a specific anything that would limit what weapons and defenses you can use, then by all means, go ahead. I also didn't include it because they tend to use REAL weapons like swords and such (or at least fencing foils. I know this from my brother, who's in SCA). My other concern is that it might clash with other genres or fanbases, such as LOTR and Theatre geeks.

[EBWonder]

bah, well, the sad part is I am/was an armorer, so I have some of that stuff still. I'm still trying to figure the game out.

besides we all know that the furry-natics will probably win, either them or the gender shippers.

[Rebecca]

Furries and Gender Shippers don't count here. They are not a specific genre with a well known history or weapons other than webcomics and fan art, and since the internet is not a nerd type, they are not allowed. This is another reason why I didn't say LARPing.

I would suggest that you either find some tabletop game where you can use these, or some fanbase which includes these weapons. (of course, don't bring a real sword or weapon like that. Shield is fine, but you're responsible for it.)

[EBWonder]

but we can claim that we have them...how will we (who may or may not live near another) play this game? I am about 99.9% sure that there are few to none who live near me in Los Angeles.

and furries are a part of most RPGs/Twihard

[Rebecca]

I think you underestimate just how many nerds there are in the world.

I think furries are kind of hard to represent in something other than a costume. It would be a bad costume to wear in this situation, is another point I hoped I wouldn't have to say. How would you fight in a furry suit?

[EBWonder]

the same way they do in SCA....with a lot of body odor?

[Rebecca]

Well, I'm at least hoping people would be SMART about their costumes and not come in full body armor, because it's heavy and all weapons are supposed to be safe and not hurt anyone anyway, rendering its practicality unnecessary. I can understand chain mail, but not plate armor.

[EBWonder]

you've obviously never worked in a tannery.

[Rebecca]

Obviously not. I'll leave the judgement up to you, and you can tell me how it goes and what I should adjust to the rules, then.