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> Life On The Farm - The Finale, Written by Saffy and Toaster Boy, Part 5 of 5
Saffy
post Jun 24 2011, 12:26 AM
Post #1


It's your world now.
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-January 07


"Leave me alone, I just want to go to bed," Saffy told the girl giving him potatoes.

But the girl forced her potato agenda onto him. She was very insistent on giving Saffy those edible objects in inedible form. Saffy begrudgingly accepted annoying potato girl’s potatoes. Annoying potato girl stuck up her nose, let out a “hmph!”, then got hit in the head by her own darn potato. Saffy really didn’t care for potato agendas being forced upon him.

“They’re full of starch, your highness,” the annoying potato girl said sarcastically, giving Saffy more potatoes. She seemed to have ignored being hit in the head. “You’re a farmer; you know what to do. You’ve done it before.” She gave him another potato.

Saffy wanted to get rid of the potatoes, but against his will he could not. He had those potatoes in his hands. The annoying potato girl had given him potatoes, much to his refusal. Why would someone be so keen to force potatoes onto another? Saffy hated these potatoes. He really did, and he didn’t know why. These potatoes were more unpleasant to him than eating the ground from which they came.

“It’s great you gave me these potatoes, but they’re just potatoes. They’re not going to fix anything, nor are they going to bring me any closer to bed or to sleep.”

The annoying potato girl left Saffy with his new pile of potatoes. Saffy dropped them, refusing to make any of use of them, irritated by her insistence. Who was she to give him potatoes? Saffy kicked one and stomped on another.

Roger saw Saffy throwing a fit over his potato collection. Alas, he thought, someone else shares my potato problems. Roger had no idea why this annoying potato girl was so insistent on giving him potatoes either, and was concerned why her potato agenda had spread to another. Roger at least ate some of his potatoes; Saffy just discarded them like trash.

Roger decided that sitting there and idly watching Saffy throw a fit over his potatoes was going to do him no good, so he went over to him.

“Hey man, I know that these potatoes aren’t exactly the best things they have to offer, but aimlessly destroying them isn’t going to do much.”

“But I don’t care!” Saffy struck back. They think that these potatoes are so easy to make use of! They don’t understand: anyone can prepare potatoes, but only a few know how to actually use them. It’s as if they think chucking potatoes at me is some sort of solution to their problems. It’s just causing more problems for you and I.”

“Yes, I know,” Roger calmly added, then took a breath. “But you can’t refuse the way they are. Denying potatoes will only get you more potatoes. It’s just life, really.”

“It’s easy to say,” Saffy responded. “But the fact of the matter is I don’t want them. I can’t refuse them, though. I have to accept them; for as long as I’m here, it’s my duty to prepare these.”

“I guess so. Inevitable potatoes.” Roger felt content with his choice of words.

“No, I’m not going to let that annoying potato girl control me. These potatoes won’t take me over; my life is my life. No matter how you size it up, that’s what it comes down to.” Saffy was insistent this potato problem was actually a problem far larger than potatoes.

“So, what do you want to do then? I’m fussed about this ordeal myself, but I’m unsure of the path to take. What’s your plan?” Roger began to see matters Saffy’s way.

“I need to leave here. That’s the only way. I think getting away from this potato nonsense will give me an opportunity to clear my head, maybe give me some insight into myself.” Saffy was positive this potato ordeal meant more than it seemed.

“You really want to leave it all? Over potatoes? It’s not the end of the world if you have to just do the girls bidding for a bit.” Roger thought Saffy was just a bit extreme.

“No, no, I’m sure. There isn’t another option. I’m done with it. I’m leaving,” Saffy paused, “right now. And I suggest you come too, if you want these problems to end for you as well.”

The two discussed their options, with Saffy ultimately convincing Roger to leave with him. They decided to pack that night and leave in the morning.
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Mizukithepanda
post Jun 24 2011, 12:36 AM
Post #2


The World Traveller
Group: Global Moderators
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Joined: 14-June 09


And yet here you are, back again. Way to prove a point.
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Hasfusel
post Jun 24 2011, 12:43 AM
Post #3


Goodnight
Group: Ranch Hand
Joined: 27-March 08


You know you've hit a new low when you feel compelled to apologise for yourself with a crude potato analogy.
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Darth-Paper-Boy
post Jun 24 2011, 12:50 AM
Post #4


Namco Professor
Group: Mayors
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Joined: 19-March 07


Trying to think of a reason to not just delete this and pretend it didn't happen. s'not working out too well.
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Lenyo
post Jun 24 2011, 03:06 AM
Post #5


I don't remember selling my soul to you.
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-March 09


Mashed potatoes freaking rock.
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Saffy
post Jun 24 2011, 03:07 PM
Post #6


It's your world now.
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-January 07


Initially the duo figured they could leave quietly, put their ill feelings aside, and not cause a scene. They walked through the village, many a familiar face in sight. It filled them with rage: unjustified anger. Why should the town be so merry on this the day of their departure? Their jerkitude could not let them leave so easily.

“Look at these pitiful people! As if going on about their lives now will be of any importance.” Saffy growled like a porcupine on fire (because porcupines growl when set on fire). No one questioned the bizarre noises escaping him.

“I know, I’m starting to lose my temper here. They’re all so happily going on their business. It’s kind of stupid. As if that--” Roger stumbled and fell over from what he believed to be PK Ground. “What the helk? Did you feel that?”

“I did! That tremor was huge! Where the heck did that come from?” Evidently Saffy didn’t care much for earthquakes or Roger’s boo-boos, given his generic earthquake response.

Across the street was Hasfusel screwing around with others and their amusement, as usual. “Hey Saffy, check out Hasfusel; he’s screwing around with others and their amusement, as usual.” Roger noted.

Saffy added, “Yeah, well, look over there.” He pointed in the opposite direction. “Mizuki’s complaining about pink dots on signs. Is that all she ever does?”

“You sure? I think she’s complaining about the signs being disproproprp--”, Roger could barely make out the last word. “Disproportionate.” With all the effort to get the word out, he forgot to mention to what.

They continued, ragging on everyone noteworthy they came across.
“Did you leave a sliver for anyone else?”
“What a hypocritical chaos canoe!”
“Babby cannon?”

A man of hammeric proportions was needed to stop them.
The man who was distinctly not a raccoon struck a raccoon pose. It was spectacular.

Saffy awed at the man who was distinctly not a raccoon in fact posing as a raccoon, “I am speechless.” Never before a had man so distinctly not a raccoon posed as a raccoon.

Roger replied, “Isn’t that redundant? Speechless isn’t supposed to mean talking.”

“No man, that’s not redundant. I love apple pie made with apples. That’s redundant,” Saffy the lady killer corrected Roger the man eater.

And like that, all the negativity had been filled with apple pie redundancy. The man of hammeric proportions who was distinctly not a raccoon walked off, his job complete.

It was difficult to follow up with any sort of lame jokes after such an amazing pose had been seen. Perhaps their moment of increased jerkitude was at its end. Dismayed, they continued walking past the many farms near the end of town. Were they really going to leave like that?

But thankfully, two fish-stick-loving cows changed everything. They were standing at the fence watching Roger and Saffy go by, offering the odd hate-filled moo. It was as though those cows, those fish-stick-loving cows, were happy of the pair’s departure. Roger was more annoyed than Saffy, who happened to still be in wonderment of such a marvelous raccoon pose.

Roger walked up to those cows and unleashed the roar of a tiger, “RRAAAAWWWWRRRR!” This sound was common from Roger who happened to have a soft spot for tigers after seeing them at his local zoo as a child. (He also liked baby mice and incorporated them regularly into his conversations.) The noise alerted a rather angry, Texan bear who rushed out of the nearby house. It was not at all pleased with tiger roars and cow moos.

The bear was more upset than the porcupine Saffy had set on fire.
“Those cows are my wives! Get away from my darn cows!”
The bear was screaming. The cows were mooing. But, Roger was not a-chewin’.

Saffy was reluctant to get involved in an argument with a bear, two cows, and a guy who roars like a tiger. He went back to thinking of the raccoon pose he saw earlier. He smiled, chuckled to himself, and ignored the happenings around him.

The four argued and argued, but the cows were already home. Saffy kept himself amused.

Just then an epic masked raccoon boy came in and let the cows out of their pen. The cows were irate, intent on running the duo out of town. The cows moo-ved forward, the boys backward. Silence. The cows stared fiercely at Saffy and Roger who feared the moments to come, their imaginations thinking the worst. The epic masked raccoon boy had vanished.

Saffy and Roger stepped back. The cows stepped toward them. The boys knew any second they would be running. The cows snarled and rushed at them. Saffy and Roger ran for their lives, the two cows close behind. They were all running as fast as they could. Boy, you’d be surprised how fast fish-stick-loving cows fueled with hatred could run.

Meanwhile the bear walked back in the house and lied down on the couch, without any care for his wives or the troublesome boys. Evidently, there was a rerun of The Price Is Right on tv with Bob Barker that he was missing, which was the actual source of his anger. The bear lazed around, glancing over boring midday commercials. It was the kind of day where nothing was happening as much as you wanted something to happen, largely because you were watching boring midday commercials, and ignoring the world around you. The bear rolled over.
“Let me tell you about my diabeetus...” the familiar Wilford Brimley commercial said.

Roger knew he needed to stop the cows somehow. There was simply no way he and Saffy could keep running for much longer, since most of their energy had gone into being jerks earlier in the day. He decided those cows must be stopped.

“We’ll run in circles around them,” he said.
Saffy wasn’t sure how this plan would work, but followed along anyway.

The two ran circles around the cows, confusing them. First one fell over, then the other. Each falling cow caused the earth to shake from its weight. Roger was surprised his plan actually worked, but passed it off nonchalantly as though he knew it would.

“Well--now--we know what--caused--the earthquake!” Roger managed to speak between breaths. He was content knowing no one had cast PK Ground after all.

The two walked on, panting, but feeling safe now that the cows were out of commission. To their disappointment, they realized their efforts did not matter much anyway: they were already beyond town limits. The cows won that round.
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Oscar
post Jun 24 2011, 05:06 PM
Post #7


Respawn
Group: Oscar
Joined: 12-August 08


Wow, you're back, Saffy!? To finish your story?


EDIT: Ahh, your finale of this story is retelling the events that lead to your departure. Well, if you really want to come back Saffy, then come back! You'll be accepted again. I know it. But you may have to work hard for it for some people. Or if you're here to just retell a story, then okay.

Now I want some french fries....
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Mizukithepanda
post Jun 24 2011, 06:39 PM
Post #8


The World Traveller
Group: Global Moderators
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Joined: 14-June 09


QUOTE (Oscar @ Jun 24 2011, 12:06 PM) *
Well, if you really want to come back Saffy, then come back! You'll be accepted again. I know it.


No. No he won't.
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Oscar
post Jun 24 2011, 06:40 PM
Post #9


Respawn
Group: Oscar
Joined: 12-August 08


Well, maybe not by everyone, lolz. But he could try, if he wants, is what I'm saying.
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Darth-Paper-Boy
post Jun 24 2011, 09:41 PM
Post #10


Namco Professor
Group: Mayors
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Joined: 19-March 07


I personally wouldn't bear any ill-will. But I do find the whole thing occurring here excessively overdramatic and unnecessary. But if it makes him happy for a while, whatever. It can be shuffled under the rug when if he decides to leave afterward. Or sooner if he decides to get even more excessive.
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Hasfusel
post Jun 24 2011, 09:50 PM
Post #11


Goodnight
Group: Ranch Hand
Joined: 27-March 08


I am impressed by your creativity, wit and ability to construct a narrative. While I am able to appreciate it on the most basic level as a light-hearted and silly but funny and well-written tale, your story has made me realise your predicament and sympathise with your actions, and I am now ready to welcome you back with open arms, yet respect your decision if you leave. I also eagerly await the third entertaining installment.

oh wait, come to think about it, the whole thing sucked and so do you, now stop making yourself look stupid and go away
preferably without trying to take down the site this time
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Jack
post Jun 24 2011, 10:06 PM
Post #12


Member
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-January 07



QUOTE (Saffy @ Jun 23 2011, 05:26 PM) *
"They don’t understand: anyone can prepare potatoes, but only a few know how to actually use them."


Stay golden Ponyboy(s). Nice set Saffles, nice set.
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Lenyo
post Jun 25 2011, 12:23 AM
Post #13


I don't remember selling my soul to you.
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-March 09


Sweet potatoes freaking rock, too.
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Darth-Paper-Boy
post Jun 25 2011, 02:00 AM
Post #14


Namco Professor
Group: Mayors
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Joined: 19-March 07


Just make sure to eat the skin of the potato as well. That's where all the nutrients are. The rest of it's just starch.
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Oscar
post Jun 25 2011, 02:04 AM
Post #15


Respawn
Group: Oscar
Joined: 12-August 08


I really don't like sweet potatoes. I thought maybe I'd like the sugary fries version, but I was wrong.
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Hasfusel
post Jun 25 2011, 02:21 AM
Post #16


Goodnight
Group: Ranch Hand
Joined: 27-March 08


(IMG:http://images.wikia.com/hm/images/3/38/Carter_(HMDS).png) Did somebody mention sweet potatoes
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Saffy
post Jun 25 2011, 02:18 PM
Post #17


It's your world now.
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-January 07


Despite being run out of town, Saffy and Roger felt really proud they had left, but it wasn’t long before they were completely bored of the idea too. Sure, it was grand to leave and cause a scene, but there wasn’t much attention left once it was all over. Where do they go from there?

“We need to do something else so we don’t feel guilty immediately after leaving,” said Saffy.
“I know EXACTLY what to do,” Roger quickly responded.

So, Saffy and Roger did moose stuff, since they had made it to a forest. That could mean anything, really. From having dinosaurs in the room with people to drinking from that lake over there while you watch. Don’t worry about the specifics.

In time, they grew bored of moose stuff. Roger spit out the branch that was in his mouth. He wasn’t quite sure how it got there or why he had been so into moose stuff. The two quieted down and began looking for a place to sleep.

“You know, it hasn’t been that long, but I already miss abusing the village folks. They provided some quality entertainment,” Roger noted. “Yeah, I know. That unwarranted power we had was pretty awesome. Oh well, I don’t know if the fun was worth the headaches,” Saffy answered.

“Meh, I guess. Where do you think we should go from here? We only left a short while ago and I’m already feeling guilty for leaving,” Roger thought aloud.
“Me too, actually. I wonder why we aren’t able to get very far from there without feeling some sort of guilt. What did the others who left do that we didn’t?” Saffy questioned.
“I guess they left under the radar, didn’t they? We had to create some sort of scene filled with anger and spite,” Roger retorted.

“Oh well, there’s nothing that we can do about it now. I kind of wish we could have remained calm, but the past is the past. It’s getting late; we should get some sleep,” Saffy replied. “Yeah, I suppose we should. We’re in a forest, so it would make sense to camp around here. Let’s pitch the tent,” Roger said, taking out the tent the two had packed.

The two set up the tent, and tried to drift off into a state of slumber. They tossed and turned for hours until they reached a point where they realized they could not sleep. This world was
preventing them from doing so.

“Saffy, I can’t get to sleep. I’ve been trying for hours, and this definitely isn’t my insomnia,” stated a worried Roger. “Someone should take pity on you. The idea of not sleeping for hours on end every night is quite a conundrum,” Saffy told him. “I can’t sleep either though, so it’s not just you. What’s going on?”

Roger began, “I couldn’t sleep in the village either. It seems like some force is causing us to stay awake, and we have to find some solution to it.”
“What could we do, besides get far away? Next thing I know, you’re gonna suggest we go to the North Pole,” Saffy stated sarcastically.
“Dude, good idea!” Roger added, completely serious. “The North Pole! Secluded, away from everyone, nothing to guilt us, we could finally get some sleep!” he concluded.

Saffy was bemused and shocked at Roger. This kid is kinda dumb, if he thinks it’s that easy to get to the North Pole that fast. “How are we going to get there then?” he asked.

Roger informed, “Now is the time you come up with some random idea to advance the plot.”

“So your plan relies on me having a plan? I don’t like this plan already, and it hasn’t even been made!” Saffy laughed, but was not happy. “Yeah, man. You need to do it!” Roger egged him on.

“Hang on, why the North Pole? Is there something cool up there?” Saffy pondered at him

“We could be on top of the world man! Our jerkitude would calm down for once. And! We’d be so far away from everyone. It’d be awesome!” Roger exclaimed. “But the dilemma is actually getting there, as I’ve said. When are you gonna pull the Saffy magic and get us around this plot obstacle?” Roger repeated the question.

Saffy thought long and hard about the question. He really wanted to come up with an answer. “Oh, man! I know! SkyRider! He could fly us there!”

“Wait, how does that work? Do you even know if he has a plane?” Roger asked skeptically.
“Of course he does. He has sky and rider in his name; he’s bound to have a plane. Jeez, were you born yesterday or something?” Saffy remarked, insulting Roger.
“Alright, whatever. If you’re so sure this plan is foolproof, go give him a call then,” Roger snapped back, his feelings crumbling from the awesome burn he had given.

Saffy pulled out his trusty mobile phone and dialed SkyRider’s number. SkyRider picked up, and Saffy asked if he did in fact have a plane. “Of course I have a plane. I have sky and rider in my name. Isn’t it obvious?” SkyRider answered.

Smug that he was right, Saffy told SkyRider to pick them up, because they needed to get somewhere only he could take them. When asked where they were, Saffy generically told him a few miles from town.

“Oh, whatever then. If you didn’t know, you could’ve just said. I guess I’ll be coming soon. If you’re in a forest, make a fire so I can tell where you are,” SkyRider finished then hung up.

Saffy started a forest fire to call attention to their location. He wasn’t bothered by the flaming animals, having seen a bear earlier, and didn’t notice the swarm of porcupines around him growling because they had been set on fire. The two waited for their heaven-gliding friend to whisk them away to the most remote location possible.
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Saffy
post Jun 26 2011, 04:10 PM
Post #18


It's your world now.
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-January 07


SkyRider’s plane touched down. It was small but able to carry four people, with two seats up front and a small couch in the back. Saffy and Roger boarded.

There was virtually no room for luggage, making Saffy really squished in the back. Roger, of course, got shotgun. He had proclaimed the rule of no backsies, so Saffy had to sit in shame with the items they managed to pack.

“SkyRider, dude, you saved the day!” Roger said while confidently sitting in the front seat.

SkyRider shrugged off the heroic compliment with modesty then clarified, “I can only take you to Alert, Nunavut, because there’s no other runway further north. You’ll have to walk the rest of the way if you’re so determined to reach the North Pole.” Saffy and Roger agreed.

The plane took off for Alert, which was bound to be a long flight.

An hour or two into the flight Saffy and Roger began to lament leaving. They reflected on some good times, like dressing up as werewolves or being considered celebrities. Saffy was rather fond of being called a Prince, Roger fond of being known as a toaster. They remembered those familiar to them: three special girls and el bandito Oscar came to mind. They wondered how the town would carry on without them around anymore.

SkyRider wasn’t one for their sappy memories. “Why did you two leave anyway?” he asked.
“Well, for me it was the realization that it wasn’t mine anymore,” Saffy started in.
Roger added, “We really didn’t belong anymore. At least, that’s how it felt.”
Saffy continued, “That place served its purpose, but it was time to let go. We were no longer a part of it, our creation diverging from our intention.”

SkyRider asked what the intention had been. Saffy thought for a while then admitted he really never knew what he wanted out of the place.

Roger interjected, “They wanted nothing to do with us. It was so obvious. We were a complete burden on them all. It didn’t matter if we were in charge. We just dragged them down.”

It was also obvious the two were unsure of what they really wanted or how they really felt. It seemed more likely they had just become fed up with decreasing popularity ratings and instead of doing something nice about it they retaliated.

SkyRider was blunt, “They started to dislike you, it happens. What was unacceptable was your reaction to it. You could have been nice, saw there was a problem, resolved it.” He paused. “But instead you retaliated against them. You hurt them then yelled at them for being in pain, and expected them to be happy with this arrangement.”

He thought of an analogy. “You throw a cat down some stairs, get away with it. The cat climbs the stairs angry at you, hissing. You’re afraid of it, so you do what you can to keep it there, at the bottom of the stairs, you at the top. In time you let your guard down and that cat reaches you. Afraid, you run away, unable to accept those scratching claws you rightfully deserve.” SkyRider acknowledged his analogy wasn’t the greatest, but he felt the point got across.

He waited for his analogy to sink in. “They don’t hate you. Well, maybe some of them do. They’re just not happy with you.” He was hopeful his words meant something, but Saffy and Roger were too stubborn to reply.

SkyRider waited for any response, but there was only silence. He continued the conversation, speaking of his own decision to leave town, “Y’know, I just came to the realization it wasn’t for me anymore. That’s fair. That’s acceptable. I could leave and I did. Everyone grows up.”

Roger stepped up to resume the dialogue. “I think,” he started, “that in a way,” he was reluctant but kept going, “we needed them more than they needed us.” He got his words out. “At the same time, being there was an unpleasant situation for us too. Like you, we wanted to leave.”

SkyRider was pleased his words were of use. “Now, it seems to me you two realized this place had come to an end for you. Maybe because you no longer felt wanted, maybe because you needed to move on with your lives. You wanted to abandon what you had become, to grow up, but found yourselves unable to leave without force,” SkyRider suggested. “While you could have been nice about leaving, ended matters on better terms, you really chose to make your decision known. You still wanted to be heard. You still wanted your attention from these people even if it was negative for both you and them.”

Saffy and Roger quietly agreed with SkyRider, who was the first voice of reason they had heard in a long time. Their conversation continued for a short while, before moving onto less serious matters. SkyRider hadn’t seen these two in a long time and was happy to share his new stories.

Back in town, a paper boy delivered newspapers with the headline “Epic Masked Raccoon Boy Saves Village!” The article was completely fictitious, having nothing to do with the real epic masked raccoon boy. The paper boy was secretly trying to pass off his hand-made comics.

Mizuki was interested, but doubted the cost. “How much?” she said.
“It’s a dollar fifty,” he responded.
“That’s a lot of money,” she told him, then threw a fit about expensive clothing.
The paper boy walked away to find another customer, leaving the girl to her own devices.

He found a man down the road hitting on a pretty girl.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye.”
Or so he thought.

The paper boy decided a conversation with that man was not worth having. He continued on, looking for potential buyers of his comic. He was really determined to find at least one customer.

Further on down the road, the long dusty country road, the poorly managed long dusty country road with ditches on either side, the kind of road that stretches on and on much like this sentence, he heard the sound of suffering.

Somehow the bear managed to spit roast the two fish-stick-loving cows alive, the ones he once referred to as his wives. They were now his tummy-yummy fish-stick-loving cows. They mooed.

Come to think of it, I could go for a Mighty Kids Meal, the paper boy thought, ignoring the sight. Again, he continued on his way, beginning to realize what a weird place this village really was.

He stopped at the local McDonald’s for a Mighty Kids Meal, over the moon that he got a cool Oshawott bobblehead with it. McDonald’s had recently become a trendy place with its McCafes, fancy decors and fireplaces. A few years ago, the company launched a Happy Meal for an older audience notably consisting of six nuggets instead of four. Apple slices were still an available alternative over fries, for the health conscious who still ate fast food. He enjoyed his meal with its additional two nuggets, and considered to whom he could sell his hand-made comics. He bobbled the Oshawott before him, then left.

Heading back to town square, he found an obligatory soap box. Alas, he knew what to do.

The paper boy stood on the obligatory soap box and declared he was mayor. Since he was confident, mature, and in control no one objected. Really, it made sense for him to be mayor anyway; he was the only serious enough to make any effort. It was really that easy too, what with the previous mayor and co-mayor fleeing only a day ago. The town needed some authority.

On his first day of being mayor, he put forth a comic law, requiring everyone to read his work. The villagers loved his story of the epic masked raccoon boy. Some even thought he was sexy.

The plane landed.
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Lenyo
post Jun 27 2011, 03:08 AM
Post #19


I don't remember selling my soul to you.
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-March 09


Baked potatoes freaking rock..
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Saffy
post Jun 27 2011, 10:32 PM
Post #20


It's your world now.
Group: Veterans
Joined: 13-January 07


SkyRider let the two out in Alert, then went to prepare for his return trip home. They were in the most remote, yet still inhabited location in all the world. The three of them spent the night in the nearby weather base, which was more than willing to provide shelter. SkyRider flew back home in the morning, leaving Saffy and Roger on their own.

Saffy poured himself some ice cream that his mommy had bought before they left. Normally you would scoop ice cream, but for this special occasion he chose to pour it.

The base wasn’t too shabby considering how old it supposedly was. There was some entertainment, although using computers was kind of out of the question there. They did have satellite tv, though. “You know, it’s surprisingly cozy here. I didn’t think it would be this good looking from the outside,” Roger commented, lazing around on a sofa.

“I know, but I don’t want to stay long,” Saffy remarked, consuming his ice cream. “I want to keep pushing forward for the North Pole, so I think we should only stay tonight, another day at most.”

Roger didn’t really like the idea of walking in the frostbiting cold and then having to somehow get past the Arctic Ocean. “Wouldn’t you just rather spend our time here? It’s remote enough.”

“Dude, we came here to be on top of the world. Don’t be a simfan, we need to do it,” Saffy reminded him, now crunching on a spoonful of cereal. Saffy had been snacking a lot. “Fine, whatever. We could try, I guess. If it turns out you’re the wolf I’ll hate you forever,” Roger said.

Saffy was actually the wolf, and he manipulated Roger into changing his vote to go to the North Pole. Little did Roger know Saffy was just going to make him seem like the evil one when they finally got there. Poor Roger indeed.

So, the boys began to prepare for the harsh, long journey that would take them to the top of the world. The next day they set out into the whiteness that was hopefully the way to the North Pole.

Roger began to get irritable around the third hour. “Man, I’m getting numb here. How long do you think we have to keep going for?” he asked, subtly angry. “Not sure. Do I look like some sort of Arctic expert here or something? You have eyes, can’t you use them to see?” Saffy insulted Roger yet again, making good use of rhetoric, he thought. Roger warmed up by the burn that he had received from Saffy and did not continue to complain of the freezing temperature.

Eventually they were met by a formidable obstacle: the Arctic Ocean. “So, do you have any more magic to get over this one?” Roger sarcastically asked Saffy.

Saffy considered the options for some time, leaving Roger to feel awkward about his sarcastic remark. He decided, “No, I don’t think I want to continue anymore. We made it as far as any human can go; that’s good enough for me. In fact, I think I’m starting to miss human election already.” Saffy’s word came out incorrectly.

“Erection?” Roger said a wrong word in attempt to repeat Saffy’s pronunciation blunder.

“I meant human interaction!” Saffy corrected. “Although I couldn’t be completely happy there, at least I had some fun in the village.” Roger reminisced as well, “I know what you mean, I’m reminiscing as well.”

Saffy eyed the curiously small toaster he had brought along. Why did he bring this anyway? It shouldn’t be in the Arctic, it doesn’t toast regular bread! There weren’t even any outlets nearby.

Roger knew that Saffy was starting to become messed up in the head, as he was pretending to hold a small object and seemed confused as to why he was doing so. He thought they should get back to the base. “Saffy, let’s just go back to the base and think this over.”

“Yeah, alright. That would probably be best.” Saffy replied, chucking the imaginary toaster into the ocean, causing some imaginary fish to die from the imaginary electrical shock.

As the two began their walk back to the base, it seemed like the background was becoming more and more unrecognizable. Brushing it off, they continued to walk and walk, hoping to find some sort of sign to get back.

“Roger, I don’t know what’s going on, but I think the world is disappearing.” Saffy told him, worried that they would never get back. “What? You’re crazy. Only recent were you tripping about some random object in your hands. It’s in your head, man,” Roger replied, still looking for a way back.

“No, I’m serious. The world has to be fading away from us,” Saffy retarded retorted.
“How can you tell it’s disappearing?” Roger humored him.
“Because the distance is becoming more and more white. There’s nothing but white around us,” Saffy said, thinking of how obvious this all was.

“Dude, we’re in the middle of the Arctic: of course there’s nothing but white around us. It’s
probably just a snowstorm. I’m sure they happen all the time up here,” Roger assured.

“But this white, it’s different. Look at this white!” Saffy stressed to Roger. The two gazed into the nothingness around them. It was like an anti-shadow encompassed the area around them.
“Well, I don’t know; maybe the snowstorms are just really different up here,” Roger told him, although Roger was beginning to worry himself now.

The two kept their pace, still searching for some method of returning to the base.

Eventually there was no sound. There was no wind. There was just an eerie calm and endless white surrounding them. Perhaps the world really had disappeared.

THE END
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Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 26th December 2024 - 08:43 PM