I Have A Questions Topic, Now Yume and Hasfusel can stop arguing over me. Options

[Headtrip]

I better not be the reason it's tasty. I would be your chef, provided you don't mind your food tasting like garbage. :\

[Saffy]

Well, could you be the guy who brings forth the virgins?

[Headtrip]

Sure. But won't finding any virgins be kind of hard these days?

[Saffy]

Then go to Safaia Village and find them >:|

[Headtrip]

Is that within walking distance of my house? Because I still don't have a driver's license.

[Saffy]

I thought you didn't want to be on the menu? :|

[Hasfusel]

Have you uncovered the awful truth behind the events of Shouwa 58, June?

[Headtrip]

I assumed I was going to kidnap the virgins and deliver them to you. If you eat me no more virgins. I believe this sort of relationship is called "mutually beneficial".

Oh yeah, that was on Scooby Doo, right?

[Saffy]

Then bring me some virgins. Otherwise you will be done away with.

[Headtrip]

Sure. Here's Tolby. Chow down!

[Saffy]

There we go. But how do you know Tolby's a virgin?

[Headtrip]

Doing it with other guys doesn't count, right?

[Saffy]

Let's go with yes. What other specimens might you have? :)

[Headtrip]

The entire line-up of douche-rock group Stereos? It's in their contract with MuchMusic that they can't breed except with each other. And you really don't wanna have to clean up after that, trust me. So eat 'em quick.

[Saffy]

The image doesn't work. I demand a proper picture.

And I still think you'd make the better meal. Just, you know, not for me.

[Headtrip]

Hopefully this one works.
And I would prefer to be eaten in a nice box by worms and maggots as my ancestors were, thank you.

[Saffy]

They don't look very appetizing D:

See, I think I'd rather be cremated for reasons like that.

[Headtrip]

Well if you don't eat them they'll keep making shitty music. I was counting on you.
And how do you know you'll really get cremated? They could just give your family a box of talcum powder and dump your real body in the sewer.

[Saffy]

There's always crocodiles.

I suppose I don't know D: I'd just assume they'd keep their word.

[Headtrip]

Crocodiles=Nature's most useful tool! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalagrin.gif) Thanks for reminding me.
And even if you get cremated, robbers could break in and snort your remains thinking it's cocaine. I swear I hear about that happening every other week now.