English is a crazy language Options

[General_Wolfy]

I stumbled upon this website and thought it was quite interesting. So I wanted to share it. :D

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

* There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
* English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
* Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that

*
quicksand can work slowly,
*
boxing rings are square and
*
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
*
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
*
grocers don't groce
*
and hammers don't ham?
*
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
*
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
*
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
*
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
*
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
*
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

*
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
*
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
*
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
*
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
*
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
*
How can the weather be hot as taco bell one day and cold as taco bell another?
*
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
*
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
*
Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
*
And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which

* your house can burn up as it burns down,
* in which you fill in a form by filling it out and
* in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects
the creativity of the human race
(which, of course, isn't a race at all).

*
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
*
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.



Here is the original website: http://the_english_dept.tripod.com/eng.html

[Saffy]

You've reminded of a website I used to check out a lot: Common Errors in English.

[James]

that was a wonderful essay <3 really did make me think

[Zen Clarke]

I found that so funny, I copied it and pasted it into an e-mail and sent it to my mom, sister, and two friends. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif)

[Chicken]

Oh, that was neat. :D I love stuff like that. The reason English is such an anomaly is because it is a combination of Anglo-Saxon speech, Latin, and French accented (early French) Latin. So many people thought the Angles and Saxons to be savages, but what savage undertakes three languages, clutsters them together, and succeeds? Not many, I say to you. English is the blending of a very basic and very eloquent language and is transformed into a language with many, many possibilities. There are over 500,000 words in the English language! (Don't quote me on exacts; I may have a super memory, but even I fall short with it on occassion.)

[Hasfusel]

Eggplant is in fact an American word invented because they couldn't pronounce Aubergine.

[Chicken]

Eggplant is in fact an American word invented because they couldn't pronounce Aubergine.

You should add stupid Americans, that is. There are a few of us with an intellect high enough to pronounce Aubergine as well as big words and Asian names.

[Zen Clarke]

I'd be able to pronounce it if I heard it. Lawlz. I think it's stupid that we changed the name Deutchland to Germany, or Deutch to Netherlands. WTC? And because we can't pronounce Deutch??! I can pronounce it just fine, thanks. Even if my spelling's a little off, I can pronounce it.

[Lindstrom]

Whatever, plenty of the world speaks English and that includes me, so I'm all set.

[General_Wolfy]

I think languages are interesting. :3

Particularly the differences between English as it is spoken in the UK and English as it spoken in the US.

[Alhanalem]

Well...now that you mentioned...
Thanks for that, I think that kinda helped me out! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif)