FanFiction club, Let's see your work =) |
FanFiction club, Let's see your work =) |
Jun 21 2009, 03:42 AM
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#21
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I r back from teh dead :3 Group: Veterans Joined: 22-February 08 |
SCG: I read it and its good! Can't wait for more (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalasmile.gif)
Furby: You're doing good for your first fic. Just a little more constructive criticism... Make sure you use good punctuation. |
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Jun 22 2009, 04:58 PM
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#22
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Melted Wings of Wax Group: Global Moderators Joined: 22-January 08 |
Um. PG-13. Can guys kissing count for that? D;
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Jun 22 2009, 05:02 PM
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#23
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I r back from teh dead :3 Group: Veterans Joined: 22-February 08 |
Uh um Yea I think it would be okay.
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Jun 22 2009, 05:08 PM
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#24
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Melted Wings of Wax Group: Global Moderators Joined: 22-January 08 |
YAY! I'm a good girl. I'm not putting actual ya~oi in this one. :3
Title: Um. I name them after generally, it's easier that way. Also, greatly appreciated if name's are submitted. I was thinking about naming it Forgotten Memories...or something like that. Author: Your's truly. Chapters: I'm not sure. Anime,game,ecetera its from: Rune Factory Frontier. In progress or finished: In progress. I only have the intro, and I suck at third person, but here goes... Raguna closed the door of his new Trampoli home softly. Due to some complications involving Mist, he had moved there in early Spring. He hadn't wanted to, but the look that Mist gave him was just too pleading to say no, so he agreed. "I don't really want to live here though." Raguna thought. "I mean, it seems like a nice place, but I don't know if I'll be able to unravel my past if I stay here..." Little did Raguna know, that if he didn't stay there, he might never discover his past. I'm not putting it on DA until I finish it, so no link. Sorry. Feel free to tell me it sucks. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif) |
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Jun 22 2009, 05:18 PM
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#25
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I r back from teh dead :3 Group: Veterans Joined: 22-February 08 |
No No you're doing good even though there is very little (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalasmile.gif)
Added* |
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Jun 22 2009, 05:29 PM
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#26
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Melted Wings of Wax Group: Global Moderators Joined: 22-January 08 |
Chapter one:
It was the third day after Raguna had moved to Trampoli that he decided that he should meet the townsfolk. Stella had said it sounded like a good idea, and she knew the perfect person to show him around. She took Raguna to a girl with orangish braids and a bright red dress. "Raguna, this is Anette." Raguna could tell that she looked peppy, and this was soon proved when she spoke. "Hey Raguna! I'm Anette, and I'm the mailman for Trampoli!" She took his hand and heartily shook it. Raguna nodded and acted like he was paying attention, remembering that someone had once told him to do that with women. But who was this someone...? This is what Raguna was hoping Anette would show him. Let me know if I am posting too much too quickly, or not enough. I swear this looks longer on the paper I'm writing it on. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif) ;;; |
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Jun 22 2009, 08:25 PM
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#27
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Respawn Group: Oscar Joined: 12-August 08 |
^Wow! That sounds awesome Twi! I like how you said "and acted like he was paying attention, remembering that someone had once told him to do that with women," I thought it was a little funny. Keep it up Twi! Are you adding yourself in the story?
Oh and yeah when you type something you wrote, it's always shorter! |
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Jun 22 2009, 08:44 PM
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#28
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Melted Wings of Wax Group: Global Moderators Joined: 22-January 08 |
No Oscar. I can't add myself and make it more worse. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif)
Chapter 2: "And this house...huh...I don't remember anyone living here..." Anette looked confused, even though her curlicue handwriting was on the front of the mailbox as clear as day. Raguna tried making it out, but all his crystal blue eyes could see was 'Kr-' before a tall, pale skinned black haired man slowly walked out. "Hello Miss Mailman..." The man whispered in a quiet voice. Anette made a small shrieking nose and ran off. The man slowly turned to Raguna and looked him over. As he did this, Raguna stood as still as he could muster. After the man finished, something lit up in his eye, and Raguna blushed slightly at this. The man whispered "You should be careful not to catch a cold." before he went back inside. Raguna glanced at the rest of the name on the mailbox- which said Kross- and bolted back to his house. I really gotta put more or work on this quicker. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalaexdee.gif) ;;; |
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Jun 22 2009, 08:52 PM
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#29
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Member Group: Forest Spirit Joined: 13-July 08 |
It's sounding good Li'l sis. I look forward to reading the rest of it.
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Jun 22 2009, 09:04 PM
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#30
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Melted Wings of Wax Group: Global Moderators Joined: 22-January 08 |
Thanks. You people keep me going, ya know?
Chapter 3: Raguna was having a pretty nice life in Trampoli. Or rather, he was until some annoying man named Brodik moved in next to Kross. Every day before then, Raguna had visited Kross out of curiousity, but when Brodik moved in, he started bugging the daylights out of Raguna. Normally, this wouldn't bug him, but this man was saying stuff that made no sense at all. Stuff like "You were such a horrible person." and "Why don't you come back to your hometown with me?" These things made Raguna think that this man knew him in the past, but Raguna didn't want to ask him about it, so he decided to talk with Kross about it. He started walking to Kross' house, when he spotted Brodik advancing toward him with his giant knife in his hand. Raguna didn't want to cause a fight, so he started running the other way, not really paying attention to where his body was carrying him, that is, until he stopped outside of the church. Kross was outside it, and he glanced at Raguna and held the door open for him. "Are you coming in Raguna?" Raguna shook his head, saying that he really wasn't the religious type. Kross then said as clear as day "Strange, before you fell off that cliff and hit your head on those rocks, you went to church every Holiday..." It was then that Raguna figured that the only way to learn about his past was to get close to Kross. No other would do. That was kinda long. |
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Jun 22 2009, 09:11 PM
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#31
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Member Group: Members Joined: 10-April 09 |
Thats cool twi did you read mine its not that good >:(
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Jun 22 2009, 10:20 PM
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#32
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I r back from teh dead :3 Group: Veterans Joined: 22-February 08 |
Twi, You're doing great! Keep it up!
I'm about to work on mine some more ~ Go click the amazing links people (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalasmile.gif) |
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Jun 22 2009, 10:36 PM
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#33
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Melted Wings of Wax Group: Global Moderators Joined: 22-January 08 |
I thought it was pretty good. Just try not to change between first and third person, and make your grammar nice and easy to read. :)
Thanks Be_Happy! Chapter Four: "Before I...fell off the cliff?" Raguna repeated in a questioning voice. Kross put his hand to his chin and mumbled "S***, I promised Stella I wouldn't say a thing...Oh well, come inside with me, and I'll explain it all to you..." He took Raguna by the hand and led him into the church. Once he got to a pew, he sat down and set Raguna on his lap and laced his arms around Raguna's body. Raguna noticed one thing, and one thing only. Kross was stone cold, like a beautiful corpse that was cursed to live. "Kross...why are you so cold?" Raguna asked innocently. Kross smiled softly and said "It grew cold of it's own accord when I thought you had died, my lover. Now to explain." He began explaining that he, Raguna, and Brodik had lived in a small refuge town away from a war. He told him that Raguna had hated it there, so he tried running away. Since the town thought that Raguna was important, they had chased him out of town, trying to get him back. It was then that Raguna had fallen from a cliff and into the ocean, hitting his head on the rocks on the way down. As Raguna was walking home in the dark, he went over these things in his mind. These made sense, but why was Brodik so harsh to him? Raguna didn't have time to dwell on that, as a sack was thrown on him from behind and he was lifted up unto someone's shoulder. "If you won't come with me, then I'll just drag you back." The voice said. That was all Raguna heard before he was knocked out. Lol. That's probably it till tomorrow. |
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Jun 22 2009, 11:03 PM
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#34
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I r back from teh dead :3 Group: Veterans Joined: 22-February 08 |
Wow Twi is a great writer (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalasmile.gif)
Good Chapter (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalasmile.gif) and I added a chapter to mine. |
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Jun 23 2009, 02:29 AM
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#35
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Member Group: Members Joined: 10-April 09 |
I love yours twi its really good. Now to mine.
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Jun 29 2009, 01:38 AM
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#36
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Wakes the Thought Police Group: Veterans Joined: 10-June 09 |
x_o I almost want to write one now. Even though I've always thought fanfiction was a little silly. It seems like fun.
I think I'll give it a shot. |
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Jun 29 2009, 05:19 PM
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#37
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I r back from teh dead :3 Group: Veterans Joined: 22-February 08 |
it is fun (IMG:style_emoticons/default/lalasmile.gif)
you should try it |
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Jun 29 2009, 09:30 PM
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#38
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Wakes the Thought Police Group: Veterans Joined: 10-June 09 |
Mmhm! It is fun! 8D I started one last night, and I went writing-crazy and got a prologue and three chapters done.
I mean, I don't consider it prize-winning literature, it's just for fun. To challenge myself, I've decided to include romance in the fanfic, but go as long as I can without using the word "love." Title: Charity Case Author: Marley Chapters: Unfinished Anime,game,ecetera its from: Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility In progress or finished: In Progress I'd link to it, but Fanfiction.net won't let me post it yet 'cause I just signed up. x_o |
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Jun 29 2009, 09:45 PM
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#39
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I r back from teh dead :3 Group: Veterans Joined: 22-February 08 |
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Jun 29 2009, 10:34 PM
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#40
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Wakes the Thought Police Group: Veterans Joined: 10-June 09 |
:D Thank you!
But... my name's spelled with an "e." Marley. x_x Sorry to be a nitpick. |
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