The Misadventures of Saffy, Never was there such a tale of misfortune. Options

[Saffy]

I do read it when you post :) Then again, I am Saffy sooo.

[Toaster Boy]

I read it too. Its nicely put together and pretty hilarious.

[Hasfusel]

Thanks, I was just worried that this was going to end up like that Shadowfall thing.


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Saffy tripped over a rock, and tumbled to the ground. He didn't feel the pain. He was chilled to the bone, and his clothes were completely saturated, making them feel like lead rather than fabric. The rain beat him down, each droplet like an icy bullet. He could go no further.
He stared up into the stormy sky, seeing nothing, the steady pulse of the rain drumming into his skull. His vision faded, and as he slid into darkness, he faintly heard a woman's voice. "Oh, not another one..."

When he opened his eyes, he was tucked into a large, rough wooden bed. The blankets were warm, and made of some sort of soft, light woolen material. He looked around at his surroundings. He was in some sort of log cabin. It was stormy outside still; you could hear the rain lash at the roof and the windows. A pretty young woman with pale hair and electric blue eyes sat next to a roaring fire, knitting something that looked like a blue scarf.
"I found you at three in the morning," she said without looking up. She had a melodious, high pitched voice. "You were like the other guy. Unconscious, and frozen half to death. You've been asleep all day. Have some soup; you'll need something hot inside you."
Saffy looked at the bowl of warm stew at the side of the bed. It smelled very good. "Who... who are you?" he asked, sitting up.
"I'm Mist," said the young woman. "Just you get that stew down you, and you'll be fine. Dr. Edwards said you'd be okay with a little food and rest."
"Th-thank you," said Saffy faintly, and he picked up the wooden bowl and spoon. The soup, which consisted mainly of potato, lentils, and some green vegetable he could not identify, was thick and nourishing.
"What's your name? Don't tell me you've forgotten too. If you have, you can't pick Raguna because that's taken already," she said with a smile.
"I'm Matt," said Saffy. This woman was quite odd, but he felt rather comfortable in her presence. "You said there's a doctor round here?" he asked. "Maybe he could help me. I think I've gone crazy."
Mist stared at him levelly. "Don't we all," she said dryly.
"Listen, you've got to help me get home," Saffy said. "I've been missing for God knows how long now. My friends must be getting really worried. I have no idea where I am or how I got here, or if I'm even in the same time period. This land gets stranger by the minute."
"You aren't going anywhere in this condition," said Mist. "Just you lie down and go back to sleep. I'll introduce you to the village tomorrow."
He did as she said, and snuggled back down under the blankets. He fell asleep in minutes, to the gentle sound of the rain and the storm outside.

[Saffy]

I guess it's sort of awkward if no one can add on to the story. It makes posting here a little off :p But I enjoy it.

[Hasfusel]

* * *

Saffy woke up, and stretched with a yawn. The sunlight was filtering through the windows of the little wooden house. There was nobody else in the room. He got up, and noticed the note on the table. It read,
Dear Mysterious Stranger
I'm out of town on important buisness and will be back this evening. Make yourself at home. There's a sandwich in the fridge for you. Would you mind watering the vegetables in the front garden? Hope you get better soon,
Mist
Saffy re-read the note in case there was some vital and horrible detail he had missed, before going to the wooden fridge - wooden fridge?[I/] thought Saffy with a frown. [I]what powers this thing, magic crystals? - opening the door, and pulled out the nondescript sandwich on a plate. He noticed with no surprise whatsoever that there were indeed glowing blue crystals lining the top and bottom of the fridge.
He sighed, sat down at the table, and bit into the sandwich. And almost choked at the sweetness. Some jackass had loaded this thing with so much freaking butter and some sort of incredibly runny honey that half the contents burst out onto his lap, covering his trousers with sticky syrup. His teeth found something hard. It was another tiny note, covered in honey.
Now you'll have to change your clothes. I have a dress hanging on the washing line outside. Feel free.
He stared at the note stuck to his palm for about three and a half minutes.

[Hasfusel]

* * *

Saffy sat back on the little bed he had been given, his head in his hands. He was homesick.
This crazy world was getting too much. He had no idea how he got here and all his attempts to get back had resulted in pain or forced crossdressing.
The weather changed like blue insanity, too. Rain now beat a steady rhythm on the window of the house. At least there was no watering of vegetables to be done. He sighed, and wondered who this Raguna was. When she got back two hours ago, Mist had said that she'd introduce Saffy to Raguna, who apparently was another stranger who'd collapsed on her farm and coudn't remember his name. He should be arriving about now...
The door banged open, and Saffy stared in amazement at the figure standing in the doorway. "JASON?!"

[Hasfusel]

Jason was equally surprised to see his old friend. "I know, me too!" he said, sitting down. "One minute I'm in my bed, reading a Playb- uh, a play, and then next minute... bam! I'm in some farming village with poor streetlamps and little bobble hat elves. Then I wandered round a while, got mugged by some hobo, fainted, woke up in this place. This woman Mist wouldn't feed me at first, she just gave me a watering can and a hoe and said my name was Raguna whether I liked it or not. You know, the tool. We gotta get back, Saffy. I don't know how, but we gotta leave here and get home before I go mad. If I see another turnip I'll start tearing jugulars, and besides, Mist threatened me if I didn't finish this week's crop."
He looked down, embarrased. "I know, but she's tougher than she looks. She gave me a chinese burn and she hit me with a plate when I told her I wanted to go home. By the way, Saf... why are you wearing a dress?"

[Toaster Boy]

Haha, incorporating other memebers certianly is delightfully evil in a way.

[Hasfusel]

Jason and Saffy left ten minutes later. They had between them a rucksack filled with random foods from Mist's house, and Saffy held a lantern found at the bottom of her wardrobe. Jason had lent him some clothes Mist had given him (male ones thankfully) he was feeling better than he had since he ever got to this freakish world.
"We'll need some kind of shelter!" said Jason as the rain soaked them. "I saw some caves down the road there, they look kind of uninhabited."
They found a small cave set in the side of a hill ten minutes later, near a lake with a small island in the middle. Ignoring the sign which said NO ENTRY - MAYOR'S ORDERS - ENTER AT YOU OWN RISK, they walked inside. It was dry and quite warm inside the cave, but a little dark, so Saffy lit the lantern.
"It's funny, Mist was telling me monsters live inside these caves," said Jason, laughing. "Monsters! I can believe in little bobble men who ask me whether I have medals to give them, but monsters...!"
He was still laughing when the ugly creature resembling a humanoid bear with the face of a pig jumped out from behind a rock, a spear in its hand. His laugh turned to a shrill scream as it lept towards him and ran him through with the spear.

Will Jason survive? Will Saffy escape the caves? Will they ever get home? And why does Saffy keep ending up in a dress? Find out all this and more later this week in the Misadventures of Saffy!

[Christopher]

"Wildly entertaining!" says Veteran Member, PC "I give it two thumbs up."

[Hasfusel]

It was half an hour later, and Jason was probably dead.
Saffy, however, was not crying anymore - at least, not out of grief. He certainly wept a little as he fled from the multitude of violent little creatures with bows and swords and whatnot. He was fairly sure there was a sheep amongst his attackers.
An arrow whizzed past his ear and struck a stalagmite. He ducked, narrowly avoiding another, and turned a corner - only to find what appeared to be a monstrous cow waiting for him. He looked into its eyes, which glistened wetly in the darkness. It looked back at him, and snorted.
A club hit his head from behind, and he fell and knew no more.

When Saffy reawoke, he was lying on a cold stone floor. A single candle flickered nearby. He tried to scramble over to it, but no sooner had he moved an inch, an alarmed grunt sounded to the side of him and something hard knocked him down again. He fell back into unconsciousness, his last thoughts being that he needed to invest in a helmet one of these days.

[Mizukithepanda]

This amuses me greatly. So we have Saffy and Jason in here now... will anyone else be added eventually?

[Hasfusel]

Yeah, some people will be unlucky enough to be chucked in. Who knows, they even might end up in dresses too. It happens.

[Toaster Boy]

So the cave monsters took refuge of Saffy? Someone's gotta swing in and save him!

[Hasfusel]

Who will that be...? Is this a job for... Toaster Boy?

[Toaster Boy]

Definitely not in a dress, thanks.

[Hasfusel]

Don't think you can escape that easily. If I include you there will at least be a frock involved.