My Untitled Story, Who wants to help me! Options

[Charmy]

Well, who wants to help me make my story better or help me edit it. I know that sounds boring but it'll be funner than you think. Anyone can add in ideas but warning, I may not use 'em. So BEWARE!
Well, the story is like a show, it doesn't just doesn't focus on one person it focus on a couple, so don't get confused. I got my idea from Twilight's RPG (Thankyou!).
Now, it does get a bit creepy, before I add a creepy part to the story, like blood or dead bodies, try not to read if you don't wanna.
Now, this is also a place where you can just read my story and not help me (Dam you!) Anyway, here is the beginning part:



'Isn't it so beautiful...'
'Yeah.' Erin turns his head to his love. Capri is staring at the sky
clueless of it all. 'Capri...' Capri turns her head to Erin 'D-do you think...'
'Do I think what?'
'Do you think that... Anything co-could happen with...'
'With who?' Erin was slightly frustrated, and was finding it hard to speak. Capri was looking at him, wondering what he was going to say. Capri was halve-knee deep in the water while Erin was on the grass. He came forward to Capri. He looked at the sky when Capri was staring at him. 'Yes?'
Erin thinks about all the times when thet were little. They had been best friends from when they first met. He was hoping that he wouldn't destroy any of that.
'Do you think you could love me?' Capri looked out to the moon. Capri was silent, and Erin looked down into the water and watched her reflection. He had saw her walk over to him, he turned around to her. 'Do you?' Capri smiles and puts her hand on his cheek. She kissed him in the moonlight. They wrapped their arms around eachover and kissed. When their lips left eachover Capri said I do. Erin smiles, Capri smiles, they then walk off deeper in Kischt forest.



So, what do you think so far?

[Charmy]

Alrighty, no comments so far. I'll put down the rest of the story that I have written so far. Warning, around Daze and Kail, it can get a bit scary (creepy, weird, whatever you wish to call it). Other than that not scary.
Umm... I know that there is a lot to read... But there. It is what I have written so far... And no, I havn't gotten/introduced a evil villain yet so don't worry. Well, please have a comment on my story and please help me, sometimes I can get off track or write things that are unecessary. That's wh yI get embarrassed about my stories. Ooh! And I'd be interested in to know who is your favourite character so far.



Paige and Paine ran to the door. 'Please... Don't leave!' Their father was walking away from them, leaving. Ashamed that he can't take care of his own children. 'I'm not coming back!' Paige cried, she placed herself into her brothers arms. 'Why?' Paine hugged Paige, saying it will be okay. She then hit her brother and yelled that it won't. She ran up to her father but it felt like she was going away... Slowly, getting further and further the more she ran. Paine tried to pull her back, she just ran inside, crying. 'Papa...' Paine whispered. 'Come back...' He walked off into the distance, he was gone. They had lost their father, he tried his best to look after them but her couldn't. Their must had been a secret sadness each time the three of them had a played.
Even though his children loved him very much, he wouldn't stay.
Paine ran into the house to try and comfort his sister, 'It will be alright. Don't worry.' He whispered while trying to lift her spirit... It didn't seem to work.

Ko and Jayze walked out of there house and saw the moonlight. Fur grew on their faces and tails appeared. They started to bend down and palms turned into paws. They howled and ran off in different directions. Jayze ran off to sit at the beach and watch the moonlight. Ko ran off into a forest where he expected someone to be there. He ran in circles then saw a figure emerging out of the shadows. He growled incase the figure was an attacker. But a petite girl walked up and said hello. 'Oh! Hello, It's you again.' She patted the wolfs head in a kind way. 'Oh... You are so cute! Yes you are!' Ko ran off and Daze grabbed a stick. 'C'mon doggie, wait for me!' Daze ran off into the distance with her stick. She made sure not to crash into any trees, same did Ko.
She threw the stick and the wolf catched it. She ran up to him and patted him. She looked into his eyes and Ko done the same to her. 'Come on, give me the stick.'

A light was up in the sky, it was a shooting star, or so expected. Everyone watched it that night, and watched it crash into the meadow. Everyone ran to the place where it had crashed, others hid, others cried. There was light surrounding this one thing, too bright to see. As the light slowly disapeared people came closer, they saw a figure laying on the ground.
'What is it?' People whispered to eachover. Everyone wondered closer and closer to the figure, it soon turned out to be a girl, laying on the ground that came out of the sky. She coughed and opened her eyes. She sat up, looked at all of the people that were surrounding her. She breathed heavily while got up, and tried to run away. But poeple were crouding her, continuesly asking her quistions. 'Get away!' The girl yelled. She pushed people out of the way with her elbows. 'Get away from me, leave me alone!'
She tried to run away, but people kept on piling up around her asking ridiculous things.
'Go away!' She finally got out of their trap, ran into the forest and hid.
She shook in the cold and looked over her shoulder plenty. She started to cry, placing her head in her lap. 'What is happeining..?' She whispered to herself in tears.
When she looked up a shadowy figure was infront of her. She screamed and almost ran until the ghost put his hands on her arms. 'Run, and they'll hear you.' She stopped struggling trying to get out of his grip. She put her arms down while he still held onto them. 'Who are you?' She tries to look at him but he'd just shake her each time she tried. 'Who are you?' She looked down on the ground, with a sad face. She shakes her head and spreads another tear. The boy tries to look down onto her face but her hairs in the way. He lets one of his hands of her arm, she takes it back. He pulls her hair back, she looks at his face. 'Anastacia.'
'I am Jesse.' He re-grabbed her arm and pulled her off into the forest, they passed a lake, Jesse helped her across. Anastacia had said nothing else to him, she still shivered at the thought of being this close to a ghost, she was afraid of so many things that were around her. But, this way was better than any other way.
'Anastacia, this is my home.' She looked around, there was grave stones everywhere and spiked fences. Her face turned down, she started to run. Jesse ran up to her and caught her again. 'You don't want to stay?' She tries once again to get out of his grip but realises there is no way. She was forced to stay at the shivering graveyard which she found horrorfying in all ways. Anastacia coughed many times because of the cold. 'Are you sick?' Anastacia looked up at him with a terrifying face. He picks up a blanket that was on the ground and gives it to Anastacia. She snatched it off him thinking he might do something to her, but instead he smiled. Jesse climbed up a tree and watched Anastacia. Anastacia heard yelling, Jesse told her to run. She shook her head but he demanded that she run. She got up with the blanket over her shoulders and ran over a bridge into a valley. She looked around, wondering which way she should turn. She saw a mansion and ran into there. It was dark and destroyed, all messed up everywhere. She heard people running past, she breathed heavily, fearful that they would find her.

'Lullaby so sweet... So sweet to you and me... Goodnight night darling, goodnight night darling.' As Kiyoto was singing Hannah to sleep, she wondered where everyone was. She hadn't heard all of the commotion.
'Mummy?' Kiyoto turned to Hannah.
'Yes, my sweet angel?'
'Sing me another song.' Kiyoto shook her head and said it is getting late and that you should be in bed. Hannah weeped but Kiyoto keft the room and waited downstairs for Kane to come home. She heard thunder, it shook through the windows. It had now started to rain.
Kiyoto wondered where Kane had been, that he should be home by now comforting her. She wrapped herself in extra clothes and trot off into the rain in search of Kane. As she walked she came past the destroyed mansion. She decided to walk in thinking someone may be there because people occasionly drop in. As she walked in she heard someone crying. Thunder then shook the windows of the destroyed mansion and Kiyoto had heard a scream. Then footsteps. 'Who's there?' She walked slowly forwards as she heard foot steps. As thunder came again she saw a figure. 'Who are you?' She slowly walked up to the figure. Thunder shook once again as heavy wind picked up. The girl screams, things begin to shatter.
'I just want to be left alone! Go away!' The person spread tears that fell onto the floor.
'But... Your sad. You need some help, don't you?' The person pushes Kiyoto onto the floor as the person runs to the broken door and runs out. As thunder came, wind blew and rain became heavier. The person falls onto the dirt outside. Kiyoto runs to her and picks her up. She asks if she is alright. No answer. Kiyoto shook her head then ran back to her house.
As she came into the house the wind calmed down a little bit and thunder went away. She rests the person onto the couch and grabs a dry blanket to rest on her. She sat next to her, brushing her hands through her hair hoping that she will be okay, but fears she won't. Suddenly there is a slam from the door. Someone runs in tiredly. 'Kiyoto!' Kiyoto runs up to Kane. 'Where were you? I was so worried.' She hugs him hoping that nothing bad happened.
'Well, this shooting star had brought someone. She ran from us and got...' He then notices the girl on the couch. 'That's her! That's the girl.' He runs to her and shakes her.
Kiyoto runs up to Kane and tells him to stop. 'She is unconcious. She fell over in the rain.'
'Well, that doesn't sound so bad.' Kiyoto shakes her head then goes back to the girl.
'mmm...' Kiyoto is shocked and think she is waking up, but she doesn't.
'Come on along up stairs.' Kane looks shocked at the idea of leaving a complete stranger sleep on their couch. 'What could she do wrong?' Kane shakes his head again but goes upstairs anyway.

'Oi! Jess!'
Jesse jumped down the tree and ran down to Kail. 'Yes?'
'Where'd the girl go?'
'I do not know. She had left, run away. The pest.' Kail spits on the ground and asks what Jesse's doing. Jesse looked around and said nothing.
'Well, if your doin' noth'n come with me. I've got someth'n to show you. C'mon!' Jesse and Kail left.

'Doggie! C'mon. We got to go.' Daze was trying to get the wolf to follow her but it wasn't going anywhere. Daze shook her head, the stick in her hand was being crushed. 'C'mon!'
The stick then disintigrated and dust fell to the floor. Daze look at her hand, she let the dust fly away. She was shocked at what she did. She checked her hand, it was jsut fine.
She ran and Ko followed her, she soon got tired and fell to the floor and rested. Ko came up next to her. His eyes examing her closely. As this happened it slowly became day again.
Daze slowly woke up, the wolf wasn'
t with her. She got up slowly and looked at her hand when she did. 'What happened..?' She slowly walked to her home and hoped it would be back to normal... But sadly because of last night, there was talk of the new arrival.

Hannah ran downstairs and noticed a person on the couch. She ran back upstairs.
'Mummy! Daddy! Theres someone downstairs on the couch.' Hannah shook her parents as they slept in moan. 'What is it honey?' Kiyoto asked quietly.
'Theres someone downstairs.' Kiyoto got up in a rush and ran downstairs with Hannah while Kane stayed in bed. She ran up to the girl on the couch. The blanket had fell of and she seemed to be turning a lot. She ran up to the girl and sat infront of her again. 'Hello?' Kiyoto whispered. Kane walked downstairs slowly and noticed that Hannah and Kiyoto was there. 'What's happening?'
'The girl, remember?' Hannah ran up to Kane and grabbed his hand and led him to the girl on the couch. 'Honey, please get a cup of water.' Kane nodded then went into the kitchen.
'Hello?' Kiyoto says to the girl.
'Hello?' Hannah repeats. As Kane comes with the water the girl starts to wake up. 'Mummy!' She slowly opens her eyes and sees Kiyoto right infront of her.
Anastacia screams. 'Oh... Just leave me alone!' As she looks up she see's Kane and has a memery flash of Kane, grabbing and asking her quistions. She pointed at him and said you. She thens starts to spread tears. Hannah walks up and asks what's wrong. 'Go away!'
'Hmmph! Well that's not how you treat someone whos trying to help you.' She looks at the girl again. Then shakes her head then hides it in her lap.
'Who are you? What were you doing last night?'
She shakes her head and begs to leave. Kane gives the cup to Anastacia but she only throws it onto the ground. 'Mum, dad, Han... Who is that?' She walks up to the crying girl on the couch and wonder what has happened. Kane punishes for not coming home that night and Capri storms upstairs to her bedroom.
'Lady?' Hannah asks. 'How did you get here?' Anastacia shook her head.

'See?' Jesse's face churned. 'Not to good, I'nt it?' Jesse went transparent to all the shock.
'Jess, come back. I can't see you.' Jesse came back and wondered what happened.
'Don't know.' They stared at the blood red lake, wondering what could have happened. Kail put his hand in the lake then wiped it on his clothes. 'Ew! Why did you just do that?'
Kail keeps on putting his hand in the blood and wiping it all over himself. Jesse took a few steps back, he went transparent. 'Eh, Jess. Touch me.' Jesse ran while Kail called his name. Jesse was freaked out and he is quite strange. He then started to think again about the lake. What could have happened? What is happening? A new arrival and now a bloody lake.

As Paige and Paine woke up that morning to their parentless house they wondered where their father had gone and same as the girl. 'Paine?' Paine looked up at Paige. 'Do you ever think papa is going to come back?' Paine looked out the window, speechless. Paige spread some tears. 'Who do you think that girl is?' Paine asked trying to change the topic.
'I don't know. I'm more worried about dad.' Paine sighs and says that he will come back.
'He will?' Paine nodded, worrying that he actually won't but trying to cheer up Paige.
'Well... She scares to tell you the truth. She ran away from us all instead of asking for any help.' Paine and Paige sigh.
'I'll cook breakfast this morning. What do you want?' Paige shrugged then thought for a little bit. 'Well... Could I have a special?' Paine nodded. 'Ice drink and pancakes?' Paine laughs and says yes. Paige looked out the window and stared at the forest while Paine went downstairs. She whispers quietly to herself 'Where are you papa..?'

'Erin.' Daniel asked while Erin was cushioning up his pillows.
'Yes grandfather?'
'I don't need your help. Go, scram!' Erin shakes his head then leaves.
'I am only trying to help him!' He yells to himself as he walks outside. He decides to go to Capri's house to see how she is doing. After last night.
He knocked on the door of Capri's house. 'Hello?'
'Who's that?' Kiyoto asked. Hannah decided to open the door while Kane and Kiyoto waited there. Anastacia put her head up and ran with the chance. She went upstairs since that was the only way.
'Hello.' Hannah had opened the door and greeted Erin. 'Erin, can you help us?' Erin chuckled and asked with what. Then there was a scream from upstairs and they all run. 'Capri's what's wrong?'
'That girl!' Erin asked what girl. Kiyoto and Kane went into her room and found Anastacia looking around Capri's room. Erin went up to her. Anastacia looked at him.
'Hi.' Anastacia is looking at him, with tears on her face. 'Are you okay?' Anastacia steps back and shakes her head. Everyone is looking at her and Erin, Capri especially. 'Don't worry. We don't want to hurt you. We are here to help.' Anastacia stops taking steps back. 'What could we do for you?' Anastacia looks around and mumbles she is a little hungry. Kiyoto crosses her arms and Hannah is curious.
Anastacia's heart is beating a mile a minute. She is thinking that something might jump out and take her, like she is some special gold and they need it now.
Capri goes downstairs to get some food for Anastacia with Erin. While she is getting snacks and Erin's getting a drink Capri asks 'So... Anastacia's... Strange.'
'Yes, she is. But, quite a unique person, and quite pretty.' Capri drops the food she had.
'Oh, what!' Erin turns to Capri, wondering what all the anger is about. 'You now love a girl who is, like, 10 years younger than you?' Erin turns to Capri, shocked to what she said. 'Oh, comeone! I saw you looking at her deeply and she done the same... You are just pushing me aside.' Capri starts to cry as Erin says that is insane.
'How could I do that to someone? That is just too awful.' Capri shakes her head and crosses her arms. Erin places his hands on her arms. 'Capri, I love you. I always had, ever since I've laid eyes on you I've had. How could you...' Capri turns her head up.
'Huh?' Erin pauses for a moment. '...You've always loved me?'
'Yes. And I never could do anything that terrible to you. Because I love you...' Capri hugs Erin. 'I love you too.' She closes her eyes and smiles. Her tears go away slowly and Erin is smiling.
Anastacia appears to be on the staircase, watching them. Hannah appears to come down. Anastacia screams and runs back upstairs. Hannah is watching Capri and Erin. They start to kiss and Hannah yells out gross. Capri and Erin blush. 'What are you doing?' Yelled Hannah. Capri chuckles and says you won't understand Hannah. 'I won't understand what?'
'Exactly.' Hannah shakes her head. All appears to stop. Everything is still apart from Hannah. She looks around laughing. Hannah walks down to Capri and Erin, she picks up the food on the floor and reaches up to Capri's arms and puts them in their. She goes back upstairs and everything seems to go back. 'Anayway, I better go and give this to her... Thanks Erin.'
Hannah walks down to Erin. 'Don't you want to help?' Erin goes up with Hannah back to the girl.

'Juni! Where are you?' Juni comes running downstairs. He see's Kail and screams.
'Ha ha! Got you.' Juni ran upstairs, terrified. As he is wailing upstairs and as his brother is about to open up the door everything stops. He looks around, too scared to open the door and see Kail, too scared to stop time. 'Why is my brother so horrible to me?' He starts wailing more. It is never a good sight to see your brother covered in blood. He decided soon to open the door and face the sight of Kail, he would close his eyes but he couldn't. Kail had blood coming out of his mouth and eyes, so, not only his clothes. Juni shudders then run downstairs. Time seems to go again as he is outside, Kail looks in his room and can't find Juni so he decides to give up. Juni goes to Hannah's house to say hello. Kane opens the door.
'H-hi. May I come in?'
'No.'
'...Oh.' Kane shuts the door on Juni, he walks away saddened, wishing to talk to his only friend Hannah.

Daze decides to go to the lake in the forest, as she approaches the lake she see's that it is red. She looks closely at the redness, and see's that it is blood. She shivers and takes steps back. She walks around the lake up to the other side. She see's that there is a body at the back of the lake, and that all of the blood has falling into the lake. 'Impossible...' She covers her hands and drags the body out of the lake. 'Huh... Leo.' She had seen that there was a knife in his back. She let go of the body straight away, she wiped her hands on the ground and shivered some more. Then she had thought about what happened with the stick last night, how it disintegrated. Her hands shuddered as they approached the body once more. She thought hard, very hard. She almost had a headache until dust started to come from the body. The dust flew with the wind and came into the lake. Daze falls on the ground, she is breathing heavily. Her teeth shatter and her legs are shaking. She moves drags herself back.
Daze carefully examines her hand 'How am I doing this...'

Jesse wonders around the graveyard hoping for something else to come onto his mind to get off the blood lake and blood Kail. He then remembers Anastacia and her strange coming. 'I wonder how she is. Hope that she is fine.'
'What are you mop'n about?' Jesse goes transparent from embarrassement. 'Ana.'
'No. Kail, you really need to get rid of all of that blood.' Kail chuckles and says no. He finds it fun to scare people. 'Isn't better to scare people in a different way?'
'Jess, untransparent.' Jesse says sorry and becomes visible.
'Why are you here?' Kail says that he got bored. 'Well, go and get bored not around me.' Kail asks why he can't be here. 'Just go.' Kail chuckles and asks if he is doing anything private. Jesse said no. 'Well, then, why do I have to leave?' Kail said in a teasing voice.
'Look, I'll go.' Jesse ran and became transparent. Jesse ran to the lake and saw someone way at the back sitting. He walked up to the person. She was shivering and wrapping her hands around her legs. Jesse walked up to her while being invisible.
Daze had picked up a stick and made it turn into dust. Jesse took a few steps back, he had cracked a stick. Daze got up and looked around, she saw nothing. Daze ran off into the trees and raced back to Silver. Jesse looked at the dust which was now flying away.
'How could she do that?' Jesse walked off slowly staring at that spot where Daze was. He left for the graveyard shocked at what has been happening to Silver and Kischt.

As Paine and Paige talked about the new girl they were thinking at what had happened to their father, is he coming back? Is he okay? They were curious.
As Paine and Paige walked outside Daze had walked up to them. They looked at her wondering what she had to say.
'Paige, Paine... I am afraid, I have some bad news...' They had looked at her with their eyes gleaming. 'Your father-'
'Yes?' Paige had interrupted. 'What is it?'
'Your father... is dead.' Their eyes seemed to darken, their spirits completely dropped. Daze looked at them, hoping that one of them to say something. Paige took a few steps back, with her lip shaking and her hands trembling. Paine stood their, quietly. Paige ran into the house leaving the door open. Paine looked behind him, then turned back to Daze and nodded. He slowly walked into his house while closing the door slowly. Daze walked away, saddened she had to be the bringer of such bad news.
'You said he would be okay!' Paige yelled at Paine. 'But no, his dead!' She started to cry and shake her head. Paine tried to comfort her once more, but her spirit was completly gone. Nothing was left. 'No! You get away from me you liar!'
'Paige, your angry now. Don't worry, things will get better.'
'That is what you said last time, but it only got worst!' She started to make things crash upon the floor. Shatter, just like her heart.
'Well, come down stairs when you calm down. I'll be here whenever you need me.' Paine walked down the stairs slowly. Paige soon got tired of crushing things and sat down in a corner shaking. She put her head down in her lap and yelled. She had no way to contain her anger since she had never felt this way, nothing this bad. As she looked back up her heart was pumping, and everything turned dark.

'Here is some food.' Capri said when she went to the girl. 'I hope you like it.'
She nodded and took the food. She had one bite of it and ate the rest in one mouthful. She smiles at Capri, then Erin and Hannah come. 'Hello.' Hannah says, Erin stares at Capri.
'Well... What is your name?' Kiyoto asks. She shakes her head. 'Please?'
Anastacia looks around at the people surrounding her. 'A-A-Anastacia.'
'Anastacia?' Anastacia nods. 'Would you like to stay with us?'
She looks around once more, smiles and nods. 'Thankyou Anastacia.' Kiyoto says. Then Kane interrupts and argues that they have no more room for her. Anastacia shudders then shakes her head. Erin goes up to her and says that there is nothing to worry about. Anastacia hugs Erin while Capri is watching again and sighs.
She then thinks that Erin does love her, not this Anastacia girl.
'We'll make room for her, she stayed on the couch last time. She could just sleep there.'
'A couch!?' Anastacia walks up then goes down the stairs. 'Where is she going now?' Anastacia fixes up the blanket she had before onto the couch. She looks at Kiyoto and smiles.
'...I-I could sleep here...' She says faintly.
Kiyoto bows and says that that would be wonderful. 'Would you like anything else for now?' She shakes her head and mumbles that she would like to stay here for now.



Well, That's it. And also tell me if there is something utterly impossible (Except for the lake and blood, I know that) to read or something that makes no sense at all. Please have a comment someone, please. Or otherwise I won't post up anymore of my story. Ha!