Life On The Farm - The Finale, Written by Saffy and Toaster Boy, Part 5 of 5 Options

[Saffy]

"Leave me alone, I just want to go to bed," Saffy told the girl giving him potatoes.

But the girl forced her potato agenda onto him. She was very insistent on giving Saffy those edible objects in inedible form. Saffy begrudgingly accepted annoying potato girl’s potatoes. Annoying potato girl stuck up her nose, let out a “hmph!”, then got hit in the head by her own darn potato. Saffy really didn’t care for potato agendas being forced upon him.

“They’re full of starch, your highness,” the annoying potato girl said sarcastically, giving Saffy more potatoes. She seemed to have ignored being hit in the head. “You’re a farmer; you know what to do. You’ve done it before.” She gave him another potato.

Saffy wanted to get rid of the potatoes, but against his will he could not. He had those potatoes in his hands. The annoying potato girl had given him potatoes, much to his refusal. Why would someone be so keen to force potatoes onto another? Saffy hated these potatoes. He really did, and he didn’t know why. These potatoes were more unpleasant to him than eating the ground from which they came.

“It’s great you gave me these potatoes, but they’re just potatoes. They’re not going to fix anything, nor are they going to bring me any closer to bed or to sleep.”

The annoying potato girl left Saffy with his new pile of potatoes. Saffy dropped them, refusing to make any of use of them, irritated by her insistence. Who was she to give him potatoes? Saffy kicked one and stomped on another.

Roger saw Saffy throwing a fit over his potato collection. Alas, he thought, someone else shares my potato problems. Roger had no idea why this annoying potato girl was so insistent on giving him potatoes either, and was concerned why her potato agenda had spread to another. Roger at least ate some of his potatoes; Saffy just discarded them like trash.

Roger decided that sitting there and idly watching Saffy throw a fit over his potatoes was going to do him no good, so he went over to him.

“Hey man, I know that these potatoes aren’t exactly the best things they have to offer, but aimlessly destroying them isn’t going to do much.”

“But I don’t care!” Saffy struck back. They think that these potatoes are so easy to make use of! They don’t understand: anyone can prepare potatoes, but only a few know how to actually use them. It’s as if they think chucking potatoes at me is some sort of solution to their problems. It’s just causing more problems for you and I.”

“Yes, I know,” Roger calmly added, then took a breath. “But you can’t refuse the way they are. Denying potatoes will only get you more potatoes. It’s just life, really.”

“It’s easy to say,” Saffy responded. “But the fact of the matter is I don’t want them. I can’t refuse them, though. I have to accept them; for as long as I’m here, it’s my duty to prepare these.”

“I guess so. Inevitable potatoes.” Roger felt content with his choice of words.

“No, I’m not going to let that annoying potato girl control me. These potatoes won’t take me over; my life is my life. No matter how you size it up, that’s what it comes down to.” Saffy was insistent this potato problem was actually a problem far larger than potatoes.

“So, what do you want to do then? I’m fussed about this ordeal myself, but I’m unsure of the path to take. What’s your plan?” Roger began to see matters Saffy’s way.

“I need to leave here. That’s the only way. I think getting away from this potato nonsense will give me an opportunity to clear my head, maybe give me some insight into myself.” Saffy was positive this potato ordeal meant more than it seemed.

“You really want to leave it all? Over potatoes? It’s not the end of the world if you have to just do the girls bidding for a bit.” Roger thought Saffy was just a bit extreme.

“No, no, I’m sure. There isn’t another option. I’m done with it. I’m leaving,” Saffy paused, “right now. And I suggest you come too, if you want these problems to end for you as well.”

The two discussed their options, with Saffy ultimately convincing Roger to leave with him. They decided to pack that night and leave in the morning.

[Saffy]

SkyRider let the two out in Alert, then went to prepare for his return trip home. They were in the most remote, yet still inhabited location in all the world. The three of them spent the night in the nearby weather base, which was more than willing to provide shelter. SkyRider flew back home in the morning, leaving Saffy and Roger on their own.

Saffy poured himself some ice cream that his mommy had bought before they left. Normally you would scoop ice cream, but for this special occasion he chose to pour it.

The base wasn’t too shabby considering how old it supposedly was. There was some entertainment, although using computers was kind of out of the question there. They did have satellite tv, though. “You know, it’s surprisingly cozy here. I didn’t think it would be this good looking from the outside,” Roger commented, lazing around on a sofa.

“I know, but I don’t want to stay long,” Saffy remarked, consuming his ice cream. “I want to keep pushing forward for the North Pole, so I think we should only stay tonight, another day at most.”

Roger didn’t really like the idea of walking in the frostbiting cold and then having to somehow get past the Arctic Ocean. “Wouldn’t you just rather spend our time here? It’s remote enough.”

“Dude, we came here to be on top of the world. Don’t be a simfan, we need to do it,” Saffy reminded him, now crunching on a spoonful of cereal. Saffy had been snacking a lot. “Fine, whatever. We could try, I guess. If it turns out you’re the wolf I’ll hate you forever,” Roger said.

Saffy was actually the wolf, and he manipulated Roger into changing his vote to go to the North Pole. Little did Roger know Saffy was just going to make him seem like the evil one when they finally got there. Poor Roger indeed.

So, the boys began to prepare for the harsh, long journey that would take them to the top of the world. The next day they set out into the whiteness that was hopefully the way to the North Pole.

Roger began to get irritable around the third hour. “Man, I’m getting numb here. How long do you think we have to keep going for?” he asked, subtly angry. “Not sure. Do I look like some sort of Arctic expert here or something? You have eyes, can’t you use them to see?” Saffy insulted Roger yet again, making good use of rhetoric, he thought. Roger warmed up by the burn that he had received from Saffy and did not continue to complain of the freezing temperature.

Eventually they were met by a formidable obstacle: the Arctic Ocean. “So, do you have any more magic to get over this one?” Roger sarcastically asked Saffy.

Saffy considered the options for some time, leaving Roger to feel awkward about his sarcastic remark. He decided, “No, I don’t think I want to continue anymore. We made it as far as any human can go; that’s good enough for me. In fact, I think I’m starting to miss human election already.” Saffy’s word came out incorrectly.

“Erection?” Roger said a wrong word in attempt to repeat Saffy’s pronunciation blunder.

“I meant human interaction!” Saffy corrected. “Although I couldn’t be completely happy there, at least I had some fun in the village.” Roger reminisced as well, “I know what you mean, I’m reminiscing as well.”

Saffy eyed the curiously small toaster he had brought along. Why did he bring this anyway? It shouldn’t be in the Arctic, it doesn’t toast regular bread! There weren’t even any outlets nearby.

Roger knew that Saffy was starting to become messed up in the head, as he was pretending to hold a small object and seemed confused as to why he was doing so. He thought they should get back to the base. “Saffy, let’s just go back to the base and think this over.”

“Yeah, alright. That would probably be best.” Saffy replied, chucking the imaginary toaster into the ocean, causing some imaginary fish to die from the imaginary electrical shock.

As the two began their walk back to the base, it seemed like the background was becoming more and more unrecognizable. Brushing it off, they continued to walk and walk, hoping to find some sort of sign to get back.

“Roger, I don’t know what’s going on, but I think the world is disappearing.” Saffy told him, worried that they would never get back. “What? You’re crazy. Only recent were you tripping about some random object in your hands. It’s in your head, man,” Roger replied, still looking for a way back.

“No, I’m serious. The world has to be fading away from us,” Saffy retarded retorted.
“How can you tell it’s disappearing?” Roger humored him.
“Because the distance is becoming more and more white. There’s nothing but white around us,” Saffy said, thinking of how obvious this all was.

“Dude, we’re in the middle of the Arctic: of course there’s nothing but white around us. It’s
probably just a snowstorm. I’m sure they happen all the time up here,” Roger assured.

“But this white, it’s different. Look at this white!” Saffy stressed to Roger. The two gazed into the nothingness around them. It was like an anti-shadow encompassed the area around them.
“Well, I don’t know; maybe the snowstorms are just really different up here,” Roger told him, although Roger was beginning to worry himself now.

The two kept their pace, still searching for some method of returning to the base.

Eventually there was no sound. There was no wind. There was just an eerie calm and endless white surrounding them. Perhaps the world really had disappeared.

THE END