Am I a terrible friend?, I don't think so but I want OPINIONS. It's a bit of a long ran Options

[Fiore]

So there's this so-called friend I had that I met last year (when I was a freshman in high school). Everything was relatively chill, no drama, nothing. This year, I saw another side of her that was just... bitchy. Hear my side of the story first, however.

Btw this hasn't been the first time that she pissed me off. She had called my parents cheap at one point which really pissed me off like no other, compared her home life to mine, bragged constantly about her rich Filipino family (how her father always randomly buys townhouses and land) and on another new note, how she's always complaining about 'ohh, I always have so many friends requests on Facebook. I already have like 1000 friends. They keep on adding me~'. Actually, I had once looked into my cousin's profile and saw the friends requests category. One of them was from HER. Keep in mind that my cousin and my friend (let's call her Jen) had never spoken ONCE. So I can only assume that she's only making herself feel better because getting requests on Facebook from people she 'claims' she doesn't know is SO cash. Come to think of it, Jen also claimed that she dated some Filipino actor named Jake Angelo Vargas which was the reason why she always got these requests from people she didn't know. I think that's utter bullshit now that I remember her telling me about that last year, and how I BELIEVED her...

I noticed how I was treated like ###### in comparison to our other mutual friends. Like...how she always thought I was annoying, or stupid, or had a different tone of voice/attitude with me. At first it made me mad, but I learnt to get over it since I was somewhat insecure about myself at times, and how I really didn't want to lose one of the few friends I had.

I gained MUCH more confidence as well as a tougher, or if not tougher, relaxed persona. I did good in schoolwork, but I'm not really stupid human-wise. I gained more friends this year but I didn't really belong into ANY popular clique, and proud of that, and I learned to love school more. My ties with Jen just kind of...loosened. However...

She began ignoring me for a good three weeks. Or a month, I have no idea since time has flew by fast. But she wasn't hanging out with our mutual friends like we do every morning anymore, the last time she spoke with them was probably like two months ago. She slowly began drifting away from me, and began talking to these girls who were considered more 'popular'. I could completely tell by this because our Geography teacher (Geography is the only class I have with her, THANKFULLY but its a darn two hours long and painfully boring) had assigned seats and I had to sit in the front, and she had to sit next to me. For some reason or another, or maybe our teacher was just really stupid, she was totally allowed to sit in the back with her two new popular friends and just leave me hanging there (she was the only person I knew in that class). Don't get me wrong; I didn't dislike the girls she was hanging out with; I didn't talk ###### about someone I really don't know, and I spoke to them a few times. I really didn't mind them at all, and thought they were somewhat cute. But yeah, she never said a simple hello, or waved, or even looked at me. helk she never bothered to talk to me ONCE in class.

So, after being tired of coming second to them, I confront her on Facebook because I couldn't stand seeing her face. I also wanted to ###### around with her a bit a bit later in the convo., after asking her (I was weirded out why she never sat with me or my friend in one of my lunches; she just ditched us there without telling us once).

Here's the convo; I still had it saved:

Me: I like how you haven't been talking to me for like weeks now.

Jen: sorry I just have too much probs. for the past few weeks

Me: Bullshit. You weren't at lunch either. And you purposely didn't sit with me in Geography, TWICE.

Jen: don't u ###### give me that attitude
cause u don't know a ###### thing
and soo what if I'm not in lunch,

Me: Yeah, I don't. I would know if you actually SPOKE.

Jen: and yes I'm in class during lunch catching up with my classes, and why do u ###### care? I mean seriously this is my life

Me: If you can speak to your other friends, you can talk to me too. It's like you're avoiding the both of us.

Jen: why? do I have to tell u where I am and what's going on with my life?
I mean I don't do that to ur's right?

Me: You don't. But you haven't said a WORD. There's a difference.

Jen:IDC
can u just understand that I'm having problems right now?

Me: Alright then. Lashing out isn't the way. You could've been a bit, oh I don't know, sensible? the way you barely look at me makes me wonder.

Jen: ohh really, if u weren't sleeping in WG yesterday then u would've known I was looking at u and trying to talk to u
but wait ohh yea u were ###### sleeping

Me: LOLWUT. From a yard away from my desk?
Two yards?

Jen: soo?

Me: Irrelevant. Don't cover it up with even more bullshit. It was a simple question.

Jen: okay soo it's a yes
what u want me to do? stand there and wait until u ###### wake up?
and just ###### understand I'm not in the mood
leave me alone

Me: Lol, okay. You're always in a dumb mood when you're chatting with me. I'm not going to bother about you. Trust me,I've never seen you make an effort to get your trumpet out of your CHAIR.

Jen: u know what ur prblem is, u don't undertsand when SOMEONE's in a bad mood DON"T ###### TALK TO THEM

Me: Believe me, your 'bad' mood doesn't transfer well over text. I asked you a simple question, again, no need to lash out.

Jen: leave me alone

Me: Fine.


The funny things about this convo., in case you didn't notice:
-She NEVER made an effort to talk to me, NOT EVER. She sat way farther from me, and chattering away like a parrot to her friends.
-She pulled the 'I have problems' card multiple times before, and she pulls it again. She also pulls out the 'I'm in a bad mood durr hurr' card too, every. single. time. I. chat. with. her.
-Um, if you considered me a friend I WOULD be actually concerned why you aren't speaking to me. Or avoiding my one other friend and me.
-She poorly defended herself, making her sound like a butthurt dumbass when I stated my clear opinion.

Also: three of my friends had reported to me about her talking trash behind my back. One of them said she practically ranted to her after that little heated convo. we had that night the next morning, the second said 'I was annoying her' and the third one inevitably said that Jen pressured her to take her side, even though my third friend and me are much closer, and both of them have barely talked as well.

It's like she's trying to get into a popular clique, and I cannot stand people like that. She has abandoned her friends, and she's so full of herself to the point that she will use lies to defend her arguements.

Am I being selfish, though? Am I doing the right thing in deserting her at this point? Or what flaws do I have that made this happen? I really want to attack her verbally just to remind her what an nice person she had been to me then to anyone else; I think I have the mental strength to do that because I couldn't care less what she thinks. I want her to take that punch in the gut. But honestly, tell me what you think of this? Ugh, my fingers are sore after typing this; I'm sorry if you read that longass wall of text! In general, I want to know whether I'm an overreacting nice person like some may say I might be or should get over it.

I want to ask this forum, since it has sane people. This is a copy and paste rant from the first forum I asked, so there is swearing (I'm sorry! Too tired to censor it because I'm exhausted). It's a wall of text, so sorry about that again. Be honest in your musings.

[Hasfusel]

Well, if she tries to contact you and apologise, then if you feel it's sincere I think you should still be prepared to give her a second chance at being treated cordially. It's unlikely, but perhaps she'll get over her immaturity and realise what a ###### she's been.

Unless that happens, though, forget about her and just act totally indifferent as Mizuki says. She doesn't seem worth putting effort into helping with her personality issues, and there isn't much you can do for people like this anyway.

Never respond harshly yourself unless you think it's genuinely going to be for their own good, otherwise everyone just comes away resentful and unhappy. There isn't any gratification in being nasty to someone because you think they deserve it.

[Fiore]

Well, if she tries to contact you and apologise, then if you feel it's sincere I think you should still be prepared to give her a second chance at being treated cordially. It's unlikely, but perhaps she'll get over her immaturity and realise what a ###### she's been.

Unless that happens, though, forget about her and just act totally indifferent as Mizuki says. She doesn't seem worth putting effort into helping with her personality issues, and there isn't much you can do for people like this anyway.

Never respond harshly yourself unless you think it's genuinely going to be for their own good, otherwise everyone just comes away resentful and unhappy. There isn't any gratification in being nasty to someone because you think they deserve it.

I think I've forgiven her too much many times honestly. :/ I've given her at least a couple of chances. I just want to cut off everything with her since it's been held together by string.

Yeah I wanted to bluntly say what an elitist she had been and to get under her skin like she had done to mine. If I just let it go too easily, I wouldn't feel as satisfied.