Stories by Me Options

[Rebecca]

this is going to be where I post stories that I write. I hope that yall enjoy them. I've finished two stories so far, and just have to type them, so it shouldn't be too long before the first one is up here. and I'll just tell you, (IMG:style_emoticons/default/emot-iia.png)

[Mizukithepanda]

Also, I'd take it easy on the dialogue. You use way too much of it. Your story seems to be driven by what people say rather than what people do. Most actions in your story don't occur unless someone says something that leads to it happening. It's a very hindering writing style. It prevents you from properly describing scenes, actions, and character relationships because you're too focused on making everything they say plot important. Instead, you should be taking Hasfusel's advice and focusing more on imagery and general description - both of the world and the events within. Fantasy just doesn't 'pop' unless you have a very detailed world with very detailed, unique characters - both of which your story seems to lack.