The Misadventures of Saffy, Never was there such a tale of misfortune. Options

[Hasfusel]

Saffy stopped running, and sat down on a treetrunk, exhausted. Panting for breath, he looked back along the path, but it was empty. He seemed to have given her the slip. If he hadn't, he was done for. He just couldn't run anymore.
After a minute, he got up, dusted himself off, and set off. Safe, he thought. But I must say, what a close escape. If that woman had caught me, I'd hav-
He stopped, not believing his eyes. His jaw dropped. It was simply too impossible, but there they were. Three tiny little men, in little green Christmas elf costumes, with matching bobble hats. And green hair. They were playing with a toy train at the foot of a tree. One of them was eating on a tomato. They appeared not to have noticed him.
Saffy stared, dumbstruck. It was beyond him why he could see these little men. He racked his memory, but he couldn't remember taking any non-prescription medication in the last 24 hours. Neither had there been anything to drink recently but cold spring water (more's the pity, thought his subconscious grimly). But there they were, against all probability and rational thought or logic. And they appeared to be sparkling.
One of the little men looked up, smiling. "Hullo!" he said. "Would you like a tomato, budum?"
Saffy tried to speak, but his tongue seemed to be tangled in a knot.
"Don't be shy," said one of the others. His voice was strangely high-pitched. "Celia gave us a dozen for helping with the harvest, budum."
The first speaker was staring at him curiously. "Hey, you're not from around here. Maybe... I got it! You must be from Mineral Town, down that way!"
Finally, he managed to say something. All that came out was "Urg", but it was a start.
"Come on," said the one holding the train. "We'll take you back to the Treehouse. It's not often we meet new people." The little man took Saffy's hand, and they started off down the path, Saffy too stunned to do anything else.
"W-what are you?" he managed. The little man turned round, smiling.
"We're the Harvest Sprites, silly! What did you think we were?" he said, laughing.
"Hallucinations," answered Saffy with certainity. "That's all you could be. Hallucinations brought on by that crazy farmer woman chasing me round."
The sprites all chuckled. "I heard that Vesta had found a man wandering round her farm."
Saffy just nodded, and kept on following the leading sprite.
"My name's Vail," said the sprite, "and these are Fraw and Matthew."
"My name's Matt, too," said Saffy, in a kind of dazed confusion. Just who the heck were these little people? Was this some kind of trick? It had to be. Either that, or the previous events in this crazy valley had messed up his thoughts.
Following the laughing sprites, Saffy continued down the path. Little could he foretell about the terrible events about to unfold.


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Feedback & ideas now please~

[Hasfusel]

Zangestu-whatever: spam in someone else's thread, it'll be more entertaining. Besides, that kind of food isn't healthy, you're only reinforcing a stereotype.
Domeki: afraid I can't answer that one.

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Saffy wandered down the path, whistling merrily. It was a sunny day, and he had a perfectly reasonable excuse to be happy despite being trapped in what was potentially another world. The trees cast cool shadows on the neat little path, which was surrounded by flowers and colourful grasses. Saffy had experimented with eating the coloured grasses earlier (in the chance that he was already under the influence of hallucogenic drugs and taking what could potentially be some in the dream would wake him up and bring him back to reality in some kind of crazy paradox thing) and found them to be actually quite edible. Somehow, they appeared to be colour coded to taste: the blue ones tasted blue, the red ones tasted red and so on. It was a strange phenomenon, but he could actually taste the colour. Green tasted minty and refreshing, blue tasted mild and sort of like lavander, and purple was remeniscient of grapes and made him feel calm, while red was rather spicy and gave him a light head. Tasting a combination of two sorts at once provided a new taste altogether, and this occupied him for half an hour or so until he eventually came to rest at the side of a pond.
"Wonder if there's a woman in this one too," he said idly to himself, and tossed in a pebble. He waited a few seconds but nothing happened. He turned to leave... and a whooshing noise filled the air as an ugly green, scaly fishy kind of man appeared above the water, rubbing his head.
"Do you mind?" it asked angrily in a voice like water foaming down a stream. "I've had a bad enough day already without people throwing stones at me. What do you want?"
Having seen little men in colourful bobble hats, beautiful women rising from pools, witches with anger management problems and magical, ambiguously camp thieves with silver hair in the past two days, Saffy was completely unfased by the apparition above the pond. "Just passing by," he said, smiling at the green man. "Sorry about that, it was an accident."
"Go on, I know that everyone who comes here wants a wish. That's not me, you have to see the Goddess about that. I'm just the Kappa. Nobody cares about my feelings."
"Oh, I'm sure that's not true," said Saffy, sitting down on a fallen log. Part of him felt that there was something insintrically wrong with having conversations with green men who lived in ponds, especially ones who looked like something out of a 60s horror movie with a name like Creature of the Black Lake!!!!! although admittedly without plastic cups sewn on.
"Well... to be honest I'm having problems relating to people," said the Kappa. "I'm a very lonely person... I keep waiting for a lovely lady to come by but none ever do, and even if they did, they'd take one look at me and run away. They wouldn't have a chance to actually get to know me. I'm a very nice person on the inside." One large wet teardrop dribbled from a large yellow eye.
"Don't worry," said Saffy. "I'm sure it will work out all right. You have to-"
But the Kappa was already sinking back into his pond. Disheartened, Saffy set off back down the path.